Broken Strings

Tears and Rainfall

  I woke up in a cold sweat tears running down my face, my head shot around the room searching for signs of reality. I saw I was back in my room once I saw the bright red numbers that read "1:19 AM".
I layed back and wiped my eyes on my sleeve realizing I had passed out again. The sound of drops of water hitting the ground and tapping the window filled the silence and ambience.

  I starred at the ceiling listening to it trying to relax. I couldn't shake the feeling in my stomach, but I looked over to my bed side to stare at my shoes that sat next to me on a cheap shoe rack my mother bought me. She had bought it because "I was getting shit all over her carpet!" The torn up shoes had laces that dangled and would move slightly due to the fan that created a constant flowing breeze in the room.

  I slowly watched them hanging shaking and finally slept, not restfully but sleep none the less. After what felt like a few seconds my eyes were slowly opened by the sound of an alarm. I knew that it was eight by that annoying buzzer that screamed for me to take a shower. I slammed my hand down on the snooze button and slowly got up.

  I flipped the alarm switch so it wouldn't start again. And I got off the bed and grabbed some clothes out of my closet and went to the shower. I got undressed as the water turned on and seemed to slap the tub floor. As I took off my shirt I was reminded of the scars that decorated my body. Whether from home or school, they were signs of hatred and disgust.

  The water had become hot by the steam coming from behind the fabric curtain. I hopped in the shower and let the hot water flow onto my face, into my hair, down my body. I pumped some shampoo onto my hand lathering it and scrubbed my hair well. As the water cleared my hair of the foam I stood still. Just like the water that shot out the shower head, I broke loose and my emotions flooded out. I died in silence as I held in a terrible shout and tears flowed down face getting lost in the streams of water flowing down my face.

I got out of the shower face just as dull as I had come in. I stared at myself and put on that fake smile everyone seemed to love. I got dressed zoning out as my jeans were pulled up and shirt was pulled over. It was all instinct as I thought about my life and the pain in it. I finally came face to face with the door, I opened it and walked through as the light seemed to pierce my eyes.