Tales of Nowardo

A new adventure

Anna stood at the counter of the Three Moon Shine Bar and enjoyed a Green Dream, the only thing that helped her calm down as a voice interrupted her peace: "Ahoi, I heard you are looking for business opportunities." She turned around and examined the man that approached her. He looked old but not as old as his clothes. She lost the interest when she noticed the toe coming through his left boot. "Thread-level zero; recommended elimination method: punch to the face", said her warrior-brain. She couldn't turn it off and she had to spend a lot of strength not to act on it. She told him with clenched teeth to go away: "Whatever you want, you clearly couldn't pay us. You know I am a Hyper, so don't overextend my patience." Hypers were female genetically modified warriors, that were used by the Gori dictatorship to fight a rebellion against them. Hypers had hyper-stamina, hyper-speed, but were also hyper-aggressive and hyper-active. The dictatorship was overthrown a century ago, but the Hypers still had to suffer from the modifications. This, however, didn't terrify the old man enough to leave. "You are clearly drunk. Go away before you regret it.", she tried it again after taking another sip of her Green Dream. "I will tell you a secret", he tried it again, "a secret that could make you rich. Just buy me another drink." Now, she interested. "You know what, I don't believe you, but I am in the mood for a good story. I hope you are a good storyteller." He nodded with a smile, that turned into a worried look, when she added: "And you should, too." After she bought him an Elekctrifying Eel Ale, he finally started to tell, what the big secret was about. "Do you know Ol'Duardo?", he asked. " Eradicated during the Lamp Wars. Danger level high. Value low.", her warrior-brain answered before she could suppress it. "You are wrong", he corrected, "there is a place in the underground called Nowardo." She grabbed him by the collar and slammed him on the counter. The few people around them took a step back. It was so fast, the old man needed a few seconds to realize what happened. "Newardo? Wow!", she screamed, "So I paid 15 credits for a bad pun? I should throw you through the window right now." But she resisted the urge to do this. "It is real! I swear!", he pleaded, "My grandfather told me about it." Anna loosened the grip, but she still looked sceptic: "My grandfather told me about a lot of things like giant snakes that eat spaceships and creatures with six arms each capable to split a human in half." He looked irritated and countered: "But all of those things are real."
"Oh, you are right.", Anna admit and let him go, "but still: Why should I believe your grandfather?" "Because he fled from there himself. My whole ancestors did and they kept it as a secret." "Valuable Information. Extract", Annas warrior-brain told her. She and her warrior-brane were finally on the same page. She nodded. "You will need someone to show you how to get in and you will need a guide. And before you ask: I need the money."
The next day Anna introduced Olgrahur, the old man, to the rest of the crew. The telepath Rodrosi McLance was the first one to speak. As so often he told his favourite joke: "What is the difference between a Krioxon and a Mola fruit?" Rodrosi had transmitted the joke via telepathy to Olgrahurs mind and Olgrahur didn't know how to answer that and also found the comparison improper, so he shrugged. "The Krioxon doesn't eat Mola fruit, but the Mola fruit does eat the Krioxons." As someone, that had family on Kriox, that lived in constant fear of being eaten by a Mola fruit, Olgrahur wasn't amused. The joke wasn't funny at all. None of Rodrosis jokes was funny. Despite his 15 years of studying, where he specialized not for instance in something useful like negotiating or emotional detection but in "cultural humour", he couldn't make a single person laugh in his whole life so far. Olgrahur decided to just ignore him. The second one to react was the sensor Ogur. He served with Anna during the rebellion. The job of Hypers was to kill rebels, the job of Sensors was to find them. Their senses are a hundred times stronger than that of a normal human being. This modification didn't come without a price: Ogur was not able to speak or walk on two feet most of the time, because his brain was overloaded with sensations. There were times of brilliance, but most of the time he seemed more like a pet than a person and most people treated him that way. So his only comment on the situation was a grunt. Olgahur also ignored Ogurs grunt. Melinkra tried to take a closer look at the strange man but tripped over her own six feet. She was a Krabkri, crablike creatures that were very famous for their talent in engineering and architecture. Melinkra was a real master for her craft: She could build incredible machines from scraps, but she was really clumsy otherwise. It was not unusual for her to trip over her own feet or spill half of her drink on the floor. Only when she was fully concentrated on her doing she could achieve real mastery. However, she had enormous difficulties to explain the tools afterwards. Her thoughts were often too complicated to explain, so that often the only one that could use her tools, was herself. The last member to approach Olgrahur was Felixtron, a meta. Metas were digital copies of deceased humans. The lamps are the only one that could turn a dying human into a meta and granted this favour only to humans that they found most entertaining. Most meta enjoyed their afterlife in a digital paradise, but not Felixtron. In his previous life, he has the most adventurous washing machine representative the universe has ever seen and death wouldn't stop him. His most famous story was turned into a blockbuster holo movie named Felixtron and the nudist cannibals. The movie was, obviously, about him catching a bunch of nudist cannibals and selling them to a washing machine colony. As a meta he didn't have a body, so he joined the conversation as a hologram. His excited voice came from every loudspeaker around Olgrahur: "A place no one knows about? That means no competition. That means unlimited business opportunities. And that means a lot of beautiful money.", just as Olgrahur wanted to confirm, Felixtron started to ask him questions, "You have to tell me everything. What goods do they lack? What good do they produce? Do they have washing machines? Ignore the last question, old habit." Again just as Olgrahur opened his mouth, the voice from the loudspeaker commanded to fly to Nowardo right now. Irritated Olgrahur observed like every member of the crew immediately started to run around, taking seats and making checks. Felixtron had paid for the ship and everything else. When he said to go somewhere there was no discussion about it.
And so a group of crazy adventurers began their journey to the already crazy place called Nowardo. What dangers stand between them and Nowardo? What dangers await them in Nowardo? How will the people of Nowardo react to their appearance? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!