False Enemies

Chapter 4

A year. A whole year since I'd last seen him and yet, he still had that same effect on me. All that time convincing myself I hated him and the moment I saw him, everything came tumbling down again. I was powerless. Helpless. Hopeless.

I hated him. I hated myself. I hated that he was here, even though I'd known he would. That was precisely why I didn't want to come. He was the reason why.

He was the reason why I'd left, in the first place. Or one of the reasons, at least. The main one, that was for sure. Though I'd be damned if I was to reveal that to anyone. Most of all him.

I pushed off the door, stalking toward my bed. How come? A year is a long time. So much has happened since then. I moved to a new place. Met new people. Made a new life for myself. Coming home, I was positive nothing could make me sway.

Little did I know there was still someone of whom one sight had me crumbling. 

I lowered myself to the bed, exhaling. I haven't registered the sharp sting behind my eyelids before my vision became cloudy. I carefully ran a finger under one eye. Fuck. I couldn't afford to cry. Not with the amount of makeup I was wearing.

Not over this. Him.

Never again.

Standing, I grabbed a tissue from a box on my nightstand. Deciding some music would be good, I clicked on my stereo and nearly laughed at the irony of Guns N' Roses Don't Cry playing. I wiped at my eyes as I came to stand under the big window looking out onto the backyard. I could see the guests there, scattering about. There was some sort of a commotion, which told me the pastor has probably arrived. I tipped my head back, realizing this meant I had to get down.

Before I got the chance to get my shit together on my own, there was a knock on the door. It was quick and superficial, though, because whoever was outside didn't wait for me to let them in. I turned when the door opened, revealing Andy. She paused in the doorway, like she was hesitant to come in.

"They're looking for you," She said flatly.

I nodded. She moved as though to leave but I stopped her when something occurred to me.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked.

Andy paused with her hand on the doorknob. "You weren't in the kitchen," She said simply. "And there are only two places in this house where I could possibly look for you."

A pang hit my chest. Just another proof of how well she knew me, if I even needed one.

Andy hesitated, looking torn. Her eyes narrowed as she searched my face.

"Are you crying?"

Dammit. She noticed.

Of course, she noticed.

"A bit," I admitted, knowing there was no hiding it now. One of the things I loved most about Andy was her inborn bullshit detector. Lying to her, especially given how well she knew me, just wasn't an option. "You know," I moved the hand clutching the tissue in a circle. "weddings. Feelings and stuff."

Andy nodded. Her eyes were still piercing me, calculating. The longer she looked, the more I felt my defenses break and that lump in my throat grow. I felt like she could see right through me.

God, how I missed that.

My lower lip trembled and that was all it took for the tears to gather in my eyes again. Feeling my legs weaken, I sat down on the cushioned windowsill, closing my eyes. I took in deep breaths, trying to calm down and wished I'd checked if my mascara was waterproof or not when I put it on this morning.