Waste It on Me

If love Is Nothing more Than a waste of your Time...

WARNING: mention of rape and domestic violence if either of these makes you uncomfortable please skip!!! ⚠️⚠️

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Flashback....

Four years I've spent with him. Breaking my heart and body and now this??

All I've ever done is let him hurt me and I keep running back... it's my fault after all...

Right?

"Joon please, just talk to me. Why is that so hard?" I yelled in pain. My heart pained at the feeling and sight of my boyfriend sitting on the couch crying. He kept muttering I'm sorry. His words on repeat. Namjoon finally lifted his head from his hands. His eyes puffy and red. I was speechless at his sight I thought the stress of work had gotten to him and he wasn't telling me about what was wrong, but I was wrong,,, very wrong.

"Baby, I- I didn't mean for it to happen. I couldn't stop it." His apology lead me to believe that he's gone and done it again...

"Joonie no, it-it's not you're fault I should've been there to stop her.." I cry my voice utterly shakey. There it was Joon cheated on me once again. I believed it to be my fault. I should've been there stopped her from coming onto him... satisfied him more,,, no. My mind was so twisted... when was the last time there was anything I could've done something wrong for this to be my fault. I cut off all of my friends, deleted all of my contacts. Hell, even my own parents haven't heard from me in the last four years. Namjoon said I couldn't talk to anyone. This is his fault I'm always hurting my arms and body.

This is the end of this. It has to end he's done this enough times. I can't keep taking the blame for his mistakes. "Namjoon," I spoke timidly, "I'm not doing this anymore. This is the millionth time you've cheated on me. I'm tired of blaming myself...." he lifted his head from his hands looking into my eyes once more. The false pain and sadness that masked his true emotion now long gone. Anger was evident in his eyes he stood up stalking towards me. My tiny and frail body backing away eventually forming into an attempt to run from him. Namjoon grabs me by the waist roughly pulling me back to him.

"You're not going anywhere!" He growled aggressively causing me to flinch. I spit in his face in a form of defiance to get away from him but all I got was slapped in the face and grabbed by the throat. He shoved me harshly into the wall my back getting a sharp pain shot through me and I whined.

Namjoon smirks sadistically. Gripping more tightly around my throat granted to leave a dark bruise. He chuckles deeply seeing the tears fall from my eyes. "You really are such a weak little girl." There was a long pause his eyes still filled with fury, but luckily he loosened his grip on my throat. He kissed me, at first it was softly. He pulled away slightly so I could breath a little and I mumbled I'm sorry over and over again. "Agh! Shut it! Just be," he roughly kisses me intensely, making my lips swell, "fucking quiet!"

My mind began to go dizzy with my vision getting fuzzy. His hand on my throat cutting off my air. However right before I passed out he removed his hand am mouth from my body. Air suddenly entered my lungs. My face remaining pale. "Let's go upstairs." He stated emotionless and cold. I couldn't stand my legs too weak and my head too dizzy. Namjoon stood in front of me.

"Get up! Or would you rather me handle you here?" His voice was harsh and I knew if I denied him any further I'd be hurt, but I didn't want this... and I didn't want him.

"N-no." I muttered. He cocked an eyebrow leaning down to me. "What?" I winced, "I-I said ... N O." He took a deep breath in frustration to my defiance. He grabbed a large amount of my hair yanking as hard as he could to pick me up. "AH!" I cried out the tears falling even more.

"I told you already and now you don't want to listen. That makes it obvious you need punished. So I'm going to make this clear..." my eyes had tears uncontrollably falling down my face. I didn't want this I don't want him. Stop! I want him to stop!

"You're going to suck daddy's cock and then you'll accept your punishment where I fuck you until I feel you've learned your lesson." From all the crying I was doing all I could do for a response was shake my head no. Namjoon hates that so he pulled his pants down sitting on the couch, then grabbed my hair once again making me scream in pain as I still cried. He gripped my throat once again growling in my face in anger.

"You little bitch. Open that nasty mouth RIGHT NOW! And DO as you're FUCKING told!!" He had such a booming voice. He began to guide my head toward his dick, but I grabbed at his wrist and tried to pull my head away from where he was forcing it to go.

"NO! Stop this! NAMJOON STOP!" I cried out right before he forcefully shoved his dick in my mouth. Tears did nothing but fall from my eyes the entire time... and the upcoming part after making my experience much much worse. All he did was use me for his own pleasure.

"Now I'm going, ah, to do this once more but I'm going to fuck you... so don't you dare try to stop me." His words were harsh and disgusting in my ears. I knew it was pointless to even try, but I still tried my hardest to fight him.

I struggled against his grip on my wrists that he pinned above my head... his nasty mouth moving down my body. His left hand already violating my core. "Stop.." I weakly let out still crying. I never wanted this. "P-please, no more, just stop.." those were the last words I was only able to get out. Right before he lined his cock with my entrance. And he began to slide in. It hurt and a lot. I wanted him to stop, but I was numb, I had no voice I couldn't speak. He goes to thru-

{end of flashback}

"STOOOP!" I scream tears in my eyes. I look around to find I'm still in the meadow where Kookie and I fell asleep. I look to my side to see Jungkook's concerned eyes.

"Hey, hey. Are you okay?" His voice soft and gentle as he pulled me into his chest while I cried his hand lightly rubbing my back.

"I-it happened aga-ain..." I sob into his chest. He sighs.

"I'm sorry baby. Let's go back to my place and we'll rest there okay? I have ice cream." The thoughtfulness of Kook always impresses me. I nod in response to shaken from my nightmare to speak. He packs up everything, gives me his hoodie and we get into his car and head back to his place.

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Helooooo author-nim here!!! Sorry for the long wait I've had severe writers block so thank you for being patient I hope this chapter gives you a bit of a better idea of what happened with Namjoon. Please do not assume I believe they're actually like this I promise I love all of the boys and know they're the sweetest people. This is just a story oki~