MOON: Bts Namjin one shot

Part 1

"I need to focus I can't be thinking about him, I need to focus on the concert" I clear my throat pic up my guitar and start singing

"You are my Earth, To you I am just a moon"

I sang the beautiful melody that always makes me feel better in some way or another, I think I've become emotionally attached to it I guess. But no matter how hard I try I can't help but think of him dammit

"Your little star that brightens your heart"

I close my eyes, squiz them and shake my head but its no use now is it, no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about the beautiful man that has been invading my mind for months now.

"You are my Earth And all I see is you"

DAMIT-  I need to focus. JIN WE HAVE BEEN OVER THIS HE HAS A LOVER AND THE LOVER IS ONE OF UR BEST FRIENDS NOW FOCUS ON THE FUCKING SONG GODDAMIT. As I'm lost in thought I forget that I had left the door of my fitting room open and I take a deep breath and start singing louder, as loud as I could.

"I am just gazing at you like this"

I can't take this anymore, Jin you can't keep doing this to your self. If u keep this up ur gonna break your own heart. I thought as I keep singing as loud as I could.

"Everyone says I am beautiful but, My oceans are all pitch-black"

As I sang, I thought of all the times I've heard them going at it in the other rooms, long sleepless, night crying as all I could hear were the moas of both of them through the walls. Hearing them over and over, as I wished all of it would stop.

"A star where flowers bloom and the sky is deep-blue"
All this time I've been trying my hardest to keep things as normal as I can and for what. Just to get crushed and die alone because of the pain. As I'm singing, I feel a cold liquid running down my face. I'm crying again huh. Why do I even try, always so hopeful and why, hope means shit in this situation. I'm so pathetic.

"The one that's truly beautiful is y-"

"HYUNG? WHY ARE YOU CRYING"  I open my eyes quickly and remember the door was open, as I hear a deep voice calling my name. I closed my eyes quickly so I couldn't see who it was and yet I know perfectly well who that is. As I open my eyes as I feel a warmth in my hand, and as I look at it I realize that he was holding my hand and squeezing it a little worried

"Joonie I'm ok don't worry I'm- this song is just very emotional for me" I smile with pain in my heart as he brushes my tears away with his hand.

"Please don't cry Hyung you'll ruin your make up, plus your so pretty when you're happy" he smiles at me and I feel my chest get smaller and it gets a little hard to breathe. "I heard your voice all the way to my dresser, I have to admit, Ig got a little worried" My breathing starts returning to normal as I feel that he actually means it.

No matter how many times I say I wanna give up, he always shows up. Makes it worse by getting my hopes up. (the "up" thing was so unintentional ongod)

"I'm ok honestly, I'm fin-" before I could realize what was going on he was lifting me out of my seat and pulled me into a hug. "Idk why your crying and u don't need to tell me, but- I just want u to know that I'm here for you" His hands were around my waist as he held me tight and didn't give any signals of letting go.

I let go of my guitar letting it fall on the floor "na-mjoon I-" he just squeezed me tighter and after a few seconds of trying to figure out what he was thinking I just gave into the hug. I pulled my arms around his neck and hugged him back, loving the feeling of love he was giving me. With one hand I gripped his hair and with the other, I held his black t-shirt into a fist.
I can't remember the last time we were alone together and this close. I miss this so much, the closeness I used to have with him, the attention I got from him. I just-