Heartbreak Warfare

Chapter 32

Harry couldn't sleep. After he had got reprimanded by Snape and McGonagall and detention was set up, he went back to his dorm. He's been trying to fall asleep for the last two hours to no avail. He was still worried about Draco despite Snape's reassurances that he'd be okay. It must be guilt. Whatever it was, he was preventing him from sleeping. So, he had to go see him to ease his conscience. Once he knew that Draco was all right then he'd be able to sleep.

Harry got out of bed and shuffled through his trunk until he found his invisibility cloak. He threw it on and stuck out of the Gryffindor common room and headed toward the Hospital Wing. When he got there, he was relieved to see that only Draco was there resting. Harry walked over to Draco's bed and sat on the chair next to his bed. Draco looked so peaceful like this. The worry lines in his forehead were gone and with his lips relaxed from their usual smirk, Harry thought that Draco looked beautiful. The thought made him blush.

Harry watched him for a few minutes, taking solace in the steady rhythm of the rising and falling of his chest. Draco was going to be okay, Harry decided. He had no reason to be worried. He stood up to leave when Draco started shifting. Harry thought that he was going to wake up but the distressed look on his face made Harry realize that he was having a nightmare. Draco started thrashing more violently, soft no's escaping his lips as tears streamed down his pale cheeks. Harry pulled off his cloak and rested his hands against Draco's shoulders. He'd seen his nightmares so many times but it never ceased to make his heart drop.

"Draco? Draco, wake up," Harry said, shaking his shoulders softly. "You're having a nightmare."

Draco shot up, his arms reaching out until they were firmly holding onto Harry's biceps. He was panting softly, his eyes blinking in confusion until his grey eyes focused on Harry's face. Harry was surprised to see real fear and panic in his eyes. He'd never seen Draco's reaction after waking up from a nightmare, at least not close up.

"Harry," Draco said, quietly. His voice was rough.

"Yeah, I'm here," Harry responded.

Draco blinked and he seemed to realize that they were holding onto each other so he pulled his arms away and scooted back so that his back rested against the bedpost. Harry pulled away too and sat down on the chair.

"What are you doing here?" Draco said, his voice holding the same amount of malice that was reserved for when they were in public.

"I came to see you," Harry said. "I'm worried about you."

Draco stiffened but didn't let his emotions show when he said, "It's not your job to be worried about me anymore, Potter."

"I'll always worry about you." Harry's voice was soft as he spoke. "And maybe your life would be a little less lonely if you decided to believe that people care about you."

"Yeah, well, if you never believe in people then you never get hurt."

Harry's heart tugged and he had the sudden impulse to hug him but he held back. They were still broken up, he had to remind himself. "Draco—"

"You don't understand," Draco cut in, lying back down.

I could understand, Harry thought. Before he could say anything, though, Draco spoke again.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. It doesn't matter. None of it does."

Harry knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere with Draco. At least not right now and Draco needed to rest. So, he stood up and started for the door. A hand shot up and gripped his wrist. Harry looked down to see a flicker of panic in Draco's storm grey eyes.

"Since you woke me up, it's only right that you stay awake with me," Draco said, trying to mask the panic in his eyes. "If I'm staying up all night, so are you, Potter."

Harry understood the silent request and settled back into the chair. "I guess that's fair."

Draco released his wrist and settled back into his bed. Harry was planning on just waiting until Draco fell asleep to go back to his dorm but soon sleep overtook him.

****

Harry woke up to someone shaking him softly. Harry's eyes blinked open and he saw Madam Pomfrey standing over him. He sat up, flinching at the sharp pain in his neck.

"I don't know how you got in here, but you know the rules, Mr. Potter. No overnight visitors."

Harry was vaguely aware of the sunlight filtering through the windows as he looked over at Draco. He was still fast asleep.

"I'll give you a warning this time, but I must insist that you go back to your dorm."

Harry nodded and got to his feet, stuffing his cloak in his robe. He walked out but not before taking one last glance over his shoulder at Draco.

****

Draco woke up when the light from the window fell in his eyes. He turned to his side, flinching slightly at the soreness in his body. He looked over at the chair and was disappointed when he saw that Harry was gone. Then he cursed himself for the disappointment. Why should he feel disappointed? Madam Pomfrey probably made him leave. Besides, it was his fault that he wasn't waking up in Harry's arms every day.

Draco thought about last night and embarrassment flooded through him. He didn't know what had gotten into him, practically begging Potter to stay. He was trying to keep Harry away from him so that he could keep them safe. At least, as safe as they could be, given their situation. But he couldn't argue that he had felt safe and relieved when Harry had woken him up from his nightmare. His steady green eyes pouring into his and the way he had said I'm here, made Draco feel at once grateful and heartbroken. He didn't want to navigate this cruel world without Harry but he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if Harry got hurt because of his weakness.

It was ridiculous. Utterly stupid to be feeling the way he was. But it wouldn't be for long. He was a Malfoy, and Malfoys are great at suppressing their feelings. He had to keep his dark thoughts at bay so something like last night doesn't happen again. And he has to keep reminding himself that he was doing the right thing. Nothing serious could ever come out of them getting back together. Not with the Dark Mark on his forearm and his mission looming over him.