Obsession

V

Leaving the bathroom, I found myself seated on the mattress once more. I folded one of my legs under the other and plopped backwards, losing myself in the duvet. I must admit, it's nice conserving myself in all these layers. I feel comfortable.

I pull the sleeves of the jumper over my knuckles and wrap my arms conservatively over my torso before closing my eyes. I concentrate on my steady breaths. The anvil that once took residency on my shoulders vanished entirely. I felt liberated. I felt free.

The irony in this situation. I'm confined in a room, and yet I've never felt so free.

I heard the door creak open, but had no desire to look up. After all, it could only be one person. Instead I focused my sights on the blanched ceiling overhead. A small orange tint flickered over its surface, cast by the candle on my nightstand.

"You seem in high spirits," a deep set of vocal chords softly echoed across the room.

I shrugged in a nonchalant manner, keeping my gaze firmly on the ceiling. I could feel a small, inescapable smirk at the very corners of my mouth. I heard him sit something on the nightstand. Without watching him, I could tell he was pulling the desk chair over to the side of the bed. I imagined him sitting in it, casual like usual.

I had risen my hand, facing my palm away from my line of sight and flexed my fingers, watching them move against the alabaster backdrop. I clenched them, then opened them. then clenched them, then opened them again.

"I brought you lunch," he spoke again. His voice was so quiet. I knew he was watching me through curious eyes. We've already established he likes to watch me, however he seems to enjoy observing me even with my clothes on. I felt ashamed when a prideful butterfly flapped its wings in my stomach. It made me feel good that he wanted to watch me without making me wrap my legs sensually around a pole.

He waited to see if I'd say anything. Instead, I continued to mindlessly flex my fingers.

"Have you thought about what song you want to dance to tonight?"

He was playing with me, jesting me to give him a response. He wanted my attention too. I granted him his wish, turning my head so finally we'd meet gazes. He could see mine, but his was still blocked out by two midnight tinted lenses.

I was right. I could feel my own eyes roll over his figure. He was casually leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees and watching me silently.

"No," I answered curtly. My curt response wasn't meant to be rude, but I wanted to play with him too. If he was prodding me so much just to get my attention, I wanted to see how far I could drag it out. I wanted to test his limits.

"You better think of something quick. I'm not letting you back out tonight." He leaned back in the chair, tilting his head back so he was staring at the ceiling too.

"Hmph," I sighed. Even in my own ears I sounded like a toddler who was refused candy before dinner. I rested my eyes back on the ceiling.

The silence between us was comfortable. He wasn't leaving my side and my heart defiantly thumped one beat harder when that thought entered my mind. He doesn't want me to feel lonely, I quietly hoped. I rested my arms at my side, inhaling this content moment.

I closed my eyes. I wasn't tired, but I felt like I should close them. I wanted to hold onto this significant occurrence between us because I feared this might not happen again.

"You should eat," he faintly murmured. I could feel his eyes on me again.

I released a contented sigh. "In a minute," I promised, lolling my head to one side.