𝕺𝖚𝖗 𝕺𝖜𝖓 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘

Volume III

The rest of the week was a haze, she couldn't concentrate on anything other then the events that took place that day her mind reverting back to that moment, where she was so vulnerable, week frightened but her helplessness wasn't what occupied her mind it was something else rather a someone else the mysterious soul that invaded her mind a lot this past week "who was he"... "why did the darkness I saw in his eyes made me speechless"... " why I couldn't have just karate chop his ass" she didn't know and besides that she is never gonna see him again so everything is going to be okay now.

That day after the gun was pointed at her vagina yeah "he was weird, who points a gun at the vagina" she rolled her eyes analyzing the at actions he carried out, after proclaiming that she shouldn't have followed him he vouched away, his hands finally freeing hers, she felt the air getting back into her lungs, his touch still lingered on her, she could still feel the sensation his breaths left on her.

He stared at her, his eyes explored each and every curve her body possessed, finally settling on her eyes, his eyes curved into a creasant moon like shape, knowing that he was smirking beneath his mask was not helpng her breathing situation, she couldn't do anything she couldn't move. Retreating his gun back into his hoodie, he gave her one last look and took his leave, her eyes had followed the route he walked on, why he had come to gallery nobody knew, he took nothing, nothing that anyone was aware off,

The inspection took place and nothing was found missing everything went back to normal the only one that didn't, was her and she had no idea why, besides the fact that the promotion didn't happen and she was still stuck, the manager who was quitting was offered a pay raise and more benefits that made her stay, as the gallery according to that sad excuse of a human, the owner, doesn't have a suitable person to run it, atleast not yet ugh I was this close, but I'll have more chances hopefully to finally be able to achieve what I crave for,

She didn't even want to think about the women she came across, she just wanted to forget it all and move on, it was just one bad day nothing else, everything was fine nothing bad happened the remaining week. She was okay everything was fine , she calmed herself not thinking about the consequences of the actions she carried out...

But this still wasn't something that bothered her it that much, it was him, her mind was full of the possibilities that could've happened that day if she had screamed for help, maybe he would've pulled the trigger and she would be dead by now or he would've gotten caught, but nothing happened he left just like that and maybe him leaving without hurting her was something she should be thankful for and move on because He was bad news, and she was relieved that it was the last time she saw or heard of him it was a one horrendous day nothing else..

Finally relaxed as the weekend came about. The girl cooked in her average-sized apartment she decided on some pasta for dinner and movie that she would eventually fall asleep to..

she settled on the couch opening the tv and putting on paranormal activity the girl had always been a fan of horror movies she's not the type to get scared easily, real life frightens her more than any horror movie ever could, during the movie she felt like someone was watching her, just to make sure she was protected she got up and checked the door and the windows they were locked, she was fine, no one was there, maybe it was just a side effect of watching a horror movie at this hour she calmed herself that she was just thinking too much, she sat back in her previous position and dozed off pretty quickly as the tiredness of the whole week caught up to her.
The shadow that projected on the wall opposite the window slowly disappeared...

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Everything hurts, my entire body is in pain, it feels like someone is jabbing me with knives all over, the pain is etching through every inch of my etching through, I don't know how I am able to write, but this, writing, writing gives me peace in tiny fraction of whatever peace is, jolting down my thoughts on paper has always been my safe heaven.

I forget about the world when I write it's just me and my pen embellishing my thoughts into words, whatever I did that day was wrong.

I should have been more careful, I should have listened to her, i should not have taken action on my own accord, because whenever I do that, this happens, the pain follows and haunts me for days and I always find myself in this helpless position that i very passionately hate, not being able to do anything but just lay there waiting, striving, desiring, yearning for the hurt to go away and it always does. It usually goes but it never leaves it always, always comes back.

I am use to this, I have been through so much more, this was very little of what she is capable of doing, but the pain, I can't seem to get use to, at this point it shouldn't hurt anymore but somehow It still does, the excruciating pain has become a part of me.

that girl that girl was the reason behind this she was a mistake that shouldn't have happened, whatever I did it happened in the heat of the moment and I got what I deserved for it, that girl was chaos, I mean who the hell follows a potentially dangerous,
everything wouldn't have gotten this bad if it wasn't for her I don't know what took over me that day, why i had touched her why i got closer to her, when I clearly wasn't allowed too... I have no idea she reminded me of, the me of before, so innocent so naive who had no idea what life actually was.

Something about her attracted me, i couldn't place a finger on it and had no intention of finding out, she was bad news and i wanted to stay as far away as possible from her besides that was the last time I saw her, so yeah everything is probably going to be okay soon..

she will make it okay, she always has, I know that she can't stay away from me for long and she would come running back to me as soon her anger subsides and everything would go back to the way it was. This always happens I fuck up, she indoctrinate's me and goes away then she comes back, make it all better and we start all over again, that's how it always has been and I planned to make it stay that way.

That girl was no one, I can't have anyone in my life without her approvall and I shouldn't, I only deserve her and she only deserves me a third person can never mess up what we have.

l never let them because she always says "I only belong to her" each and everything part of me is hers and she can do whatever she wants with it because she is the only one who can handle me, the only one who can protect me. I don't fit anywhere in this world except with her.

i was no one before her and "I don't disagree".. I am hers to keep and protect she will always have control over me and I've learned to live with that. I've accepted all of it but I have a heart and I feel stuff that I shouldn't feel.

There is this insignificant voice inside of me that shrieks in pain at the situation I'm in and tells me that this isn't right, this is outrageous, unfair, violent, this is wrong, cruel, non human but with every torment, every torture, every defeat, every suffering, every wound, every havoc, every scaring, every thrashing every slashing, that voice, that part of me had started to fade away and I don't know if I should fight for that voice to stay or just let it go ...

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