The Amazing Life of a (Sort-of) Amazing Author

Chapter 1: Henri

"Do you ever think about what you'll do if you're ever stuck on the edge of a cliff with about a hundred baddies on your ass? No? neither did I. In fact I found it easier to go to eat at school..."

Josh stared at the computer screen. He had no idea what he was reading, which wasn't good since he was the one who was writing it. He looked at the few sentences on the document, wondering where he was going to go with this. "Nothing" popped into his mind, as it always did with every crappy story he tried to write. His finger hovered over the delete key. He didn't want to push it. He never did. WIth a small sigh, he pushed the button and watched his writing disappear in an agonizing letter by letter fashion.

He had almost finished watching himself send his dreams down the drain when the annoying 'boing' sound of FukoF, a sort of video messaging systm, startled him out of his depressing trance. It was Henri Lanchester, one of his few friends of the female gender, as he had to remind his mother every time he got a new "girlfriend."

Her profile picture was one of those pictures that gives girls on the internet a bad reputation. This picture was taken in her bathroom, with one of those big mirrors that everybody had, apparently. Her hot pink hair, which was now dyed, "Navy blue, not black, moron," covering her bright green eyes. Or as a poetic "friend" of Josh's had said, "They remind me of grass on a warm summers day." Henri had responded by telling him to piss off.

The worst part of the picture, in Josh's opinion, was the revealing shirt that revealed nothing. Henri was one of the most flat chested girls Josh knew about, which was probably the only reason she hung out with him. Both Josh and Henri to school at Eldrath's School for Disadvantaged Students. All the students, however, knew that it meant, "High School for the Economically Challenged."

This meant that any kid whose parents couldn't afford regular school went there. Henri was a perfect example, as she...well as she put it, "A tan Nazi, only with green eyes, and naturally brown hair." So nothing like a Nazi, and a bit delusional. Josh always assumed that she was part of an alien race that was really bad at fitting in.

Another "boing" shook him from his thoughts. He opened FukoF, and saw that he had missed quite a few messages. All from Henri. Most were about getting her hair color changed and what color should it be, or asking when he would change his profile picture.

Henri O'Bryan has connected

Henri: Hey moron.

Henri: When are you gonna change ur profile picture? I'm tired of talking to the human version of Frosty the Snowman.

Henri: Are you even reading these?

Henri: Answer me, or i'll come over there and make you!

Josh: I'm here. Sorry, busy thinking.
Henri: About me, no doubt.

Josh: You know, for a rebel against the views of society, you're kind of a narcissist.

Henri: You know I'm not like the other girls.

Josh: You dye your hair every other week?

Henri: Jerk. I mean I type with proper spelling and grammar.

Josh:You probably could afford to go to a better school if you didn't dye your hair so often.

Henri: You'd probably have more friends if you weren't such a jerk.

Josh: I have plenty of friends.

Henri: Real life friends.

Josh: ....

Henri: That's what I thought, jerk.

Josh: I'm not that mean.

Henri: You're right. It's your freakishly pale skin, weird brown eyes and the fact that a twig has more strength than you.

Josh: I'm so lucky to have a friend like you.

Henri: Although you do have quite an amazing tolerance to both physical and emotional pain.

Josh: Thanks, you really make me feel like I'm the best I can be.

Henri: Whatever, I've got to go eat dinner, Talk to you later, loser.

Henri O'Bryan has disconnected