Not Everyone Can Be Saved

Chapter 4

"I can't do this..." (Y/N) muttered to herself. " I can't do this! "

She had been with the Avengers for four months now, and she found herself slowly growing affections for the mismatched group, especially that mouthy archer...

No.

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of these thoughts.

You weren't supposed to become attached, idiot. You know what happens when you get involved...

Chuckling darkly, she glared at her reflection.

"If they knew what you've done, they wouldn't be so welcoming."

But Barnes does know... So why hasn't he said anything?

(Y/N) took a deep breath, heading to the kitchen for breakfast. When she walked in, Tony and Bucky were in the middle of another argument.

"Yeah, well that's rich coming from you, Barnes."

Tony still hadn't forgiven Bucky for... the incident .

The guilt ate through (Y/N)'s conscience as they continued to dig at each other, until finally, she couldn't take it any more.

"Oh will you just shut up!"

Everyone was staring at her now.

"You two are driving me crazy," she huffed.

Then, after a slight hesitation, she pressed on.

"It wasn't even him anyway."

Tony's face morphed into one of confusion.

"Wh- but..."

(Y/N) sighed.

"The Winter Soldier was tasked with eliminating Howard and Maria Stark, but James Buchanan Barnes started to remember. It seemed that these particular targets triggered some sort of relapse.

But, there was another assassin there. Only 17 years old, it was going to be her first kill. Barnes tried to stop her, but she put him out of commission and finished the job. Then she dragged him back to HYDRA to be reprogrammed."

Bucky wouldn't look at her. Clint, however, stared in disbelief.

"How-how do you know all this?" Tony stammered.

(Y/N) breathed deeply, her face filled with guilt.

"Because I was the assassin."

Tony's jaw tightened.

"Get out."

"Tony--" Steve started.

"I said get her out of here."

"Come on, man--" Clint tried.

"No Clint, it's okay. I understand," (Y/N) cut him off. "I'll go."

"But (Y/N)--"

"Clint, please . There are things that you would hate me for too..."

(Y/N) stood and quickly headed to her room, immediately beginning to pack her things. Clint followed her, confused at why she was so desperate to get away.

"Hey, slow down. Tony just needs some time... You don't have to run."

"Yes I do," (Y/N) replied, not even bothering to look up. "You guys... you're so much better than I am. I shouldn't be here, I'm just a disease."

"Whoa, (Y/N), hey. You're not... Why would you think that?"

She didn't answer. He moved toward her.

"Isn't there anything I could say to convince you? Isn't there anything here worth staying for? Any one ...?" he begged.

(Y/N) knew what he meant. But if he knew... if he knew, he would want her to go.

You should tell him. It would be better for him to hear it from you... Besides, if you tell him, he won't try to stop you from leaving. Yeah, he'd probably throw you out the door himself.

She finished packing and headed down to the entrance. The other Avengers had gathered to watch the scene.

"(Y/N) please." Clint tried again. "I..."

"I know, Clint." she said. "But I can't. Not when I..."

She glanced at the group, making eye contact with Natasha.

"Clint... I killed Laura."

The atmosphere of the room immediately turned dangerous.

"What?" Clint whispered.

(Y/N)'s face contorted tearfully, but only for a moment.

"I'm so sorry."

"S- you're sorry? You- you murdered the woman I-" he broke off, unable to look at her.

"Now you understand why I can't stay..." she hoarsely whispered.

And without waiting for a reply, the assassin left, leaving devastation in her wake.