The Suicide Note ~KNJ FF~

Chapter 1

~April 5th 2019~
I sit in my new therapist's office and she just looks at me waiting for me to speak.
"Well, I guess I'll start, Do you know why you're here, Paris?" She asks and I just look at her with my red and puffy eyes with dark black circles that droop down and nod.
"Okay, then why are you here then?" She asks and I just clear my voice before I speak,
"I am here because two months ago my boyfriend committed suicide and apparently Im not the same, so my parents feel the need to bring me here for 2 hours every other day," I say it like it was the pledge of elegance we all learn in Pre-K. She nods and writes in her notebook,
"And how does that make you feel?" I curl my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.
"I don't feel anything... Just nothing like Im empty and numb." She writes and slightly nods.
"Why not tell me how you two met and we'll go from there," She replies, I just look up at her and we make eye contact for a second before I resituate myself to were my chin is resting on my arms.
"Well..."
~September 3rd 2009~
I was the new girl in 1st grade and I was also the only American in the class so everyone stared at me, Except him... He looked at me and smiled as our eyes connected.
"Everyone, this is Paris, She's from America and she will be joining our class for now on. Say hello to Paris." The entire class said Hello in English in unison. I just gave a small wave and the teacher-directed me to an empty seat next to him. He looked so happy to finally have someone to sit next to because every other kid was sitting away from him.
"Hi! Im Namjoon, Kim Namjoon" He said in surprisingly perfect English,
"Hello, Im Paris, Paris Parker. I just moved here from New York City in America" I said and he nodded at me.
Then the teacher started the lesson and I could see him glance at me from the corner of his beautiful dark brown eyes.
~April 3rd 2019~
"So you two started out as friends?" She asks and I just chuckle,
"Hell no, He was just being nice because I was new. His friends weren't there that day so I was sat next to 7 boys for the whole year. There was Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Not complaining because I have 6 older brothers so 7 boys are nothing" He eyes widen slightly and she jots down what I said.
"So that was 1st grade, now how did he treat you if you weren't friends?" She wonders.
~Febuary 10th 2010~
"Hey, blondie! Keep talking maybe you'll finally say something smart!!" Jimin flicked my forehead and Jungkook come up behind me and pulls my pigtails. I yelp in pain, "Leave me alone Jimin! and you to Jungkook!" I yell at them, the rest of the boys appear and just laugh at my high pitched voice.
"Oh look she's crying!" Seokjin yelled and pointed at me and laughed and the rest of the boys follow along, then, the rest of the class. Laughing... at me and all I did was cower in the corner and cry until the teacher came back and ran up to me.
She sent the boys to the office and hugged me and calmed me down, but there was no calming me down. So she called my mom and she came to get me.
~April 3rd 2019~
"Okay so If im following correct, They bullied you?" I nod and look down.
"He was the worst... He would throw stuff at me." She jots more down.
"Whos 'He'?" She asks
"Namjoon." He deeply inhales and writes stuff down.
"Okay so that was 1st grade, what about second?" I hold onto my knees tighter,
"That was the year I moved back to America... I didn't come back till 8th grade"
She nods, "Okay, so what was 8th grade like?" I smile.

~March 18th 2015~
I walk into my first class with my bright purple hair in a high ponytail and my makeup was done natural yet cutely.
"Oh! Class, We have a new student. Please introduce yourself" I instantly recognized them but I held myself together.
"Hello, "I bowed "My name is Paris Parker" I empathise my name and all the boy's eyes widen, "and I am from America originally but I was here in Korea for 1st grade but I moved back to America, But anyway please treat me well" I bow again and the teacher chose the seat next to Namjoon who had a shocked look on his face.
He handed me a note and I opened it,
You've changed...
I scoff and write back,
Fuck off Namjoon. I don't need you back in my life. I don't need any of you and hell yea I've changed it been 7 fucking years.
I hand It back to him and he just smirks to himself and he hands the note behind him, Where Jungkook was sitting and he read it and they paced in among themselves till it reached me again.
Welcome back Faggot ~Jungkook
Been a while Blondie ~Jin
Missed you, Fuck face ;) ~Jimin
Hey ~Taehyung
You know that makeup won't make you any prettier, Faggot ~Hoseok
God, you're back? Why not just die ~Yoongi
I could feel the tears start to form in my eyes but I hold it in and I keep a straight face and I tear the paper up into 7 pieces and hand them all their peace of paper.
When I heard the bell I shot up and grabbed my stuff and ran to the bathroom. I cried till there were no more tears left to cry.
When I was done I took off the makeup and took my ponytail out, I put the hoodie on that I had in my bag and I walked to my next class. I was late but it was okay because I was new.
Taehyung was in that class, his eyes softened when he saw how I looked. I was told to sit next to him and when I sat down the teacher started her lesson.
Taehyung slid me a piece of paper:
Please don't be mad at me... Im not like them anymore, I've matured and I don't write anything more than a Hey on that paper bc I remember you're face from when we were little. Please just don't be mad at me.
I smile at him and slightly nod and his smile was the cutest thing I had ever seen, that was the only class I had with just Taehyung.
After that class, I walked with Taehyung and people watched us. Including the boys but I was smiling and so was he.
He walked me to my class and then gave me a hug, Which I didn't expect but I hugged him back.
In every one of my classes at least one of them was there, it went;
Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook~ Class 1
Taehyung~Class 2
Namjoon and Yoongi~ Class 3
Jin~Class 4
Jimin~ Class 5
Jungkook and Hoseok~6
Jimin and Jungkook~Class 7
Namjoon and Hoseok~Last Class
~April 3rd 2019~
"So there was no escaping them, but-" She glances at the clock on the wall above the door, "That's all the time we have today, see you the 5th?" She says and I nod.
As I walk out I see my mom who stands from her seat and drags me out and throws me in the car.
"God, why can't you just be normal?! Its bad enough I have to worry about bills now I have to worry about my depressed physio daughter" He words stung my heart and I cried silently next to her and in my bed at home till I passed out.