Polnareff x reader (joke)

A slow start

You start the day in the usual way, wake up, fall back asleep for a little, wake up again, force yourself up, brush your teeth, and maybe (if you're feeling adventurous) eat some breakfast. It's a Friday, your favourite day, as barely anyone takes school seriously, and overall it's just the best option out of the school days. You have a few friends, enough to keep you from being lonely. There is one friend in particular that you find yourself thinking of more often, Jean-Pierre Polnareff- although you call him Pol for short. You're both in your last years of high school and share many classes, which ends up bringing you two closer than you expected.
The bus rolls up as you are getting yourself together.
"Oi! Y/N!"
"WHAT could it possibly be now Mama? Can't you see the bus has driven in? You little attention-seeking peepee."
"W-well I just wanted to wish you luck on your science test today because I figured... y'know... those are hard and tests are stressful and I just want the best for you because I love and appreciate you and I just want you to be happy during these hard times and-"
"Jesus Christ lady calm down," You say half listening, but then it clicks, "SHIT!" You completely forgot about this silly test.
"Well my grades are ok enough to not care," you think to yourself, and walk confidently out your old farm house, and down your driveway onto the bus.
When you approach the moving vehicular device's insides, you scan the people.
"Where's Pol???" Oh wait, "he's right there, I'm fucking blind holy shit"
You scamper over to Polnareff's muscular body, which you still think is kind of fucked up considering he's in the same grade as you in high school.
"HEEYYYY!! Y/N! How's it hanging? I heard it's Friday. That means we can relax and just play it cool."
"You bet Pol." You try to act calm cool and collected but really you're about to shit yourself.
"You seem like you're about to shit yourself."
"I may be doing that yes..."
Silence.
Both of you have your headphones in for the rest of the ride because that was too awkward to comprehend, holy shit you really fucked that one up. Even though you have your music up pretty gosh darn loud, you can still faintly hear Polnareff's music. Really Jean? You're really listening to the fucking Labyrinth soundtrack? Even though you're secretly judging him, you can't help but stop your music and jam along to his.
You reach your little gremlin hand out to pull out one of his EarPods, and put it into your ear.
"Wow you are really fucking desperate. That's understandable though because I'm sexy as shit. Look at my hair. Beautiful." He smirks at you. "Y'know... the whole reason I really got into this wacky hairstyle, and being fit, is because of Jareth and David Bowie. David's crack shack really inspired me to have a fucking tiki pole on my head."
You arrive at the school.
Since your bus was early, neither you or Polnareff have to Naruto run your ass to class.
You and Jean sit down on the fountains's edge to share some knowledge.
"... listen y/n... recently -I think at least- you've been acting different around me when we're alone then if we with with our pals. In real life I would just take that as a sign and leave you to make your own decisions, but this is a fan-fic and people don't have to to wait for that shit so I play my part and tell your that unrealistic fact, ok?"
"How am I acting any different?" You say, breaking out in a cold sweat.
"You literally almost shit yourself this morning, to me that's a sign that you have the fancies for me."
"Oh fuck oh shit." More sweat inches down your spine. "Yeah ok virgin" you utter.
"I don't blame you for liking me, like I said earlier I am one sexy beast."
The bell rings. You must go to class.