Bus Baby

Greenwich, 2012

Bertie

Shit, Shit Shit. I am such a moron, I should never have come here. At all. She made it very clear she didn't want me here. But I came anyway. She is the love of my life after all, the only thing good in this stinking universe. Sure she has a new boyfriend. But that's only temporary. She does this, Sam, she breaks it off with me, claiming she needs space, I diligently agree, anything to keep her happy, plus I know it'll only last a week or so. She then gets a new man who is essentially a walking set of abs with a beanie, and then I proceed to cry outside of her front door until she calls the police or throws something at me. Then the next day she's on my doorstep begging for forgiveness. It was a nice tradition we found ourselves In.

You may find it strange, why do I keep going back to her? Why don't I stand up to her and demand respect? Why do I cry on her doorstep so often? Well, because I'm in love. And pretty much every song, sonnet, book or film tells you that love makes you do crazy things. So I'm just another poor sod on the hook forever. But it's okay, I've got nothing better to do with my time. I'd much rather sit on this bus for two hours and beg her to take me back. It's the best way to spend a weekend.

"Hey, excuse me? I'm really sorry to ask, but can I sit there?" A voice broke me out of my trance and I looked up to see a very heavily pregnant woman, clutching her bulging stomach and gripping onto the seat in front of me for support. She was looking at the empty seat next to me which had my backpack laid out across it.

"Of course! Sorry!" I apologise and grab my bag and hold it across my lap, gesturing for her to sit down. She smiles and me gratefully and gingerly lowers herself down, barely fitting on the cramped seat. She exhales deeply and rubs her belly.

"Honestly, you'd think I would be noticeable considering I've swallowed a planet. But everyone just pretends I'm invisible." She sighs and tries to readjust herself to be more comfortable. I lean against the window more to allow her some more room. The bus was full of hot, sweaty commuters, so I could only imagine how uncomfortable she was. She had a thin sheen of sweat across her forehead, causing some flyaway hairs to be pasted down against it. She keeps shifting in her seat, failing to get comfortable every time. Her face contorted every now and again, showing brief signs of pain.

"Everything okay?" I ask her.

"Oh yeah, gleaming." She nods, wincing again.

"Okay." I say and look at the window, leaning against it and feeling the vibrations radiate through my head.

"Why do you look so sad? Did your Girlfriend break up with you?" She laughs, but then stops because I have now started to cry. Hard.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. I was just joking. Here... take this." She apologises and hands me a scrunched up tissue that she fished out of her pocket. I shake my shed, rejecting the ink stained, torn apart tissue and she puts it back into her pocket, using her hand to pat my shoulder. "Hey, it'll be okay. Plenty of fish in the sea." She offers reassurance.

"Thanks, but I'm okay. I'm actually on my way to win her back." I explain, wiping my eyes free from tears.

"Oh... right. That's a bit odd." She laughs uneasily.

"Not really. I do this quite often." I tell her.

"How often?" She quizzes me.

"About once every two months. It really gives me time to reflect on my role in the relationship and how I can be better y'know." I continue.

"And what's she doing throughout this? Just waiting for you to come round?" She asks.

"Well, no... She's normally busy. With... someone else. But that's only temporary. I think she's just figuring out what she wants out of life, and then I just simply mould myself to be that person." I sigh, leaning my head against the window once more.