Not All Scars Heal | Tododeku |

4 - Mr Azaiwa

⚠️trigger warning : self harm⚠️

Todoroki POV
I woke up with the familiar bitter taste of blood in my mouth when I remembered were I was. I ran as fast as I could to my room. Luckily my dad was passed out on the couch. I closed the door as quietly as I could and locked it shut.

The words my father from last night echoed in my head, over and over again. Then I remembered Midoriya. It felt as if I tone of bricks smashed me in the back of the head. The guilt was overwhelming. I cover my ears to try an make the voices stop but it doesn't.

"useless"

"worthless"

"brat"

"good for nothing"

"mistake" 

i feel tears well up in my eyes. i try to hold them back but they wouldn't stop. I thought of the only thing that could ease my pain. I walk over to my bed and reach underneath it. I fumbled my hand around for a bit till I found it. My razor. "Mistake" I drew one deep cut into my forearm. I felt so relieved. It was like a weight was lifted. I continue until I have about 20 cuts on each arm. The crimson liquid pour out of my arms , dripping onto the floor. I hear heavy footsteps down stairs . i slid my blade back under my bed. found a some random bandage near the cupboard. i quickly wrap my arms. as the footsteps approached my door i pulled down my uniform sleeves.

slam

I flinched. the door flung open and standing there in the doorway was a furious endeavor. he looks at me and yells. "so were are you going" i look down and respond with "school". he seams very annoyed and steps out the way. i quickly walk past him and straight out the door .

I felt a relief as i step out onto the streets. I cant believe I am going to school . as start to think about school my stomach turn and it feels like there is a lump in my throat. what am i going to say about midorya. I couldn't just say, oh yeah my dad almost choked and burnt him to death . I could not do that if he found out he would kill me. what about when I skipped school. shit I must have spaced out for so long cuz I was already at u.a. I lift my head up a bit and see uraraka and idia talking . they look at me but I still have a scared look plastered on my face. they ask me what was wrong in unison. I manage to squeeze out a fake smile and say that I am fine. I was dreading what the next question would be. hey, do you know were deku is he has not answers any of my texts he went looking for you two days ago and know has seen him. uraraka asked me . I quickly said i had not seen him and almost ran inside.

3rd pov

uraraka and idia look at each other and idia said " was that just me or did todoroki seem to suspicious'

yeah i agree uraraka said

they walk inside trail behind todoroki and have agreed too keep an eye on him for the day.

todoroki walks into class 1-A. he immediately put his head down and waled to the back of the classroom were his seat was. he had uraraka and idia trailing behind him. most of the class start to gravitate towards todoroki to ask him some queations. when mr. azaiwa walked in and told everyone to go to their seats. thank god todoroki thought to himself.

todoroki pov

i saw a bunch of people walking over to me. i started to  pannic internaly but the mr azaiwa  walk in and i am saved. her tells the class to go and sit in there seats. I was so glad that I didn't have to answer people's questions especially about Midoriya. Roll calls started one person said here after another. "Here" I say with my head down . "Midoriya" the room is silent. I look up a tiny bit to see Mr Azaiwa look straight at me. I start to shake a bit from my anxiety. I quickly put my head down. He continued to call names and then started class.

Time skip cuz I'm lazy.

The bell rings for lunch. I wait for everyone to leave the room cuz it is not like I will eat. I got up to go to the bathroom but I was stopped by Mr Azaiwa. He look at me dead in the eye and said " I saw you shaking in class when I called Midoriya for the class role this morning. What is wrong?" Shit, how did he see that. What do I say. "Come on shoto". I hear Mr Azaiwa again " hey, todoroki it is ok. Calm down, it is just me." I must have started shaking again. I didn't know what to do but I managed to stutter "s-s-sorry sir I-I-I h-have to g-go." And I ran straight to the bathroom. I could here him chase after me but I locked myself in a bathroom stall before he could catch me. I just sat there crying thinking about how Midoriya is in a coma at the hospital.

I hear the door gently swing open. I tried to stop my self from crying but I couldn't stop sobbing. I here mr . Azaiwa say my name and nocked on the door of the stall. "Y-yes" I say quietly
"Could you please come out" he said in a soft tone

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Haha I am ending it here if u liked the longer chapter I can do more of them. But thank u to everyone who has read my trash attempt at writing a fan fic. Anyways I'm gonna go on a rant thingo now so if u don't wanna read the next bit that is fine.

⚠️ rant stats now ⚠️
Not like anyone is gonna read this but. Ok so I am gonna be real. I told my friend that I cut three days ago because I was becoming really bad and I am low key scared of myself. She took it really well I was super surprised. It was over FaceTime she sempt genuine but for some reason my anxiety as skyrocketed and I been having way more panic attacks and I feel like she hates me and does not want to be my friend anymore. And on top of that I got told yesterday that our unit for health this term is mental health and thank god I am doing online school for now cuz corona cuz I has another pannic attacking cuz the assessment is like our experience ad stuff and I just fucking got enough courage to tell my best trusted friend only one of the things I don't want my teacher to know everything. Anyway that is enough now.

If u read that wow u are amazing feel free to message me or comment ur ideas abou it and the story. Again thanks so much. Enjoying ur day
Boi 💝♥️

-Ebeth