This is not accurate to the history of America- LUISFNAFFOXY
So as Americans, if you don't know already, if you do then- I mean, sing along with me as I recite the history- the illustrious history of America. We wake up each morning and then praise to the wooden teeth of George Washington, and say our daily prayers to the blessed beard of Abraham Lincoln from his top hat, to his lovely beard. May he keep us safe as we go along and thank our creators of the McDonalds hambuger. Muah, it's delicious! But anyway, the history, uh, America was founded in 1480 F$&@. I don't know, on the principle of F$&@ you! That is America , that is the American way, we always taught our great children, straight from birth F$&@ you! And just F$&@ all of y'all, and go to hell and let's see how much we can screw up the entire world. So Anyway! We landed on the shores of New Jersey and the swole Native Americans came out and they were like Sup nerds nice belts on your hats and we were all, we are British at the time so we are like, (British accent) I don't care much for you! Mm, I don't think we are going to get along, oh no we're starving! And the natives were like- you need some protein bruh, here take this fish and this corn thing. And we're like what's corn? And we're like, eating corn and then we're like, oh this is awesome, you guys are amazing! Hey can we have all of this country? And the natives we're like I dunno this doesn't seem fair for us. And they go off there business and we're like, we gotta get rid of these guys 'cause we're suddenly turning into giant @$$holes'. And then we decided to go try to be friends with the natives were like were going about their business and we're like hey do you guys need anything from us, I dunno, disease, starvation, bullets to the head? Anything at all? And they're like oh, you know, we're doing fine living amongst the land peacefully, and not being total @$$holes Americans like you guys are. We didn't even know what America was but you guys are giant douches. And then we decided we could - we could -we could cooperate! You - you might need something from us, we might need something from you, and it was like. Maybe we more sweat towels for our massive workouts 'cause Native Americans are so amazingly awesome and they are ' but we're like. Oh,oh,yea,yea,yea,sure,yea,sure. Hey, uh, Smallpox Lary! You got a few spare blankets so we could toss- AND WE KILLED THEM ALL! And that's how we started the tradition of F$&@ you. And then we we're total dickbags. Americans founded their entire nation on killing people and taking there stuff. And we are where here today, through out George Washington and Abraham Lincoln and the blessed Ben Franklin, may his glasses watch us above in the great McDonalds in the sky. And that's the history of America, that's literally all I got.
