Pen Pals

Part 14

Holy shit! 

If this is sloppy I'm sorry, I'm crying a lot. Actually I haven't read any of what you wrote from the past seven months cause I started crying the moment I was holding this notebook. I missed you so much. 

Alright, I've finished crying, read what you wrote, and cried some more now. I'm such an idiot for hurting you and I can't even express how sorry I am. I'm putting a flower in here for you, I hope you like it. 

The first month, right after Oliver got back, I was catching up with him and I didn't have time to write, and I'm sorry. For the next two months I was pretty much just drowning in guilt too much to write. I didn't really know what to say. I'm really sorry. 

Of course this still matters to me. This notebook, it's home. This is where me and my feelings are safe. This is where you are. 

I feel like we need to talk about the four months note. In love? In love. You? With me? You mean to tell me I'm actually the luckiest person to ever live? And I completely ruined that? 

You say my stupid new crush as if I'm not talking about you. Almost like you expect me to have the ability to know you and not be in love with you. That takes a lot of power. Or a lot of stupidity. But hey, I've got the stupidity and the being in love with you. Not the best combination actually. 

I can't express how much I care Dominic. I'm crying again, that's fine though, I care about you so much and it breaks my heart to see how much I hurt you. How much you've been hurting these past seven months. My heart can't take this. I wish you were closer, I just need to shower you with affection, I need to make you feel cared for. 

If it makes you happy, I'll keep up with those stupid jokes, yeah? Say, why didn't the skeleton cross the road? 

Cause he had no guts! 

I've missed you more than day one too and I can't express how it all felt. It was like seven months of walking around with no emotions, and then I get the package and suddenly I'm feeling everything there is to feel all at once. 

You have nothing to be sorry for, I'd have cut me off too. I'm so thankful that you sent this back. Thank you so much for sending this, thank you so much for giving me another chance. 

Ps. I love you.