Dear Zeta

Forbidden Fruit

It's kind of arrogant to say
But when I want something,
I get it
In a way, people won't even realise
that I just won,
making them think they did.
And I wanted him.

I played right
And eventually we were together.
It was sweet, tender at first
Stolen kisses, holding those warm hands,
It was bliss.
Maybe it was his intelligence,
resilient nature
I was attracted to
Or it was his soft yet striking personality.
I knew I was doomed.

Then it got intense
Both knowing it will come to an end.
It had to.
He was going away, far away from this crazy city, average school, from me.
I knew it.
How could one stop a heart
Who actually knows that kind of control,
I wondered
And I kept going.

Intimacy is such a scary thing,
atleast that's what I thought
Those eyes, it hid all kinds of mysteries
And I wanted to unravel it.
I tried but the doors closed on me
And boom, back to zero.

His hands knew the right places
To hold me
His lips knew the right places
To kiss me
I loved every minute of it, almost perfect.
It had to be, since quite some time went in planning it.

Few days before the finish line
What will become of you once I leave
Where will you go when you
crave for pleasure
He asked. 
With a broken tattered heart
I sweetly replied
I will run back to my shell, that hard shell which opened only for you
Now that
I had a taste of this forbidden fruit
Completely out of my text
I will be satisfied for a long time
Actually for a very long time
till I start craving for the pleasure.
He liked the answer.

I let go
I always hated the feeling of
being tied down
I didn't want him to feel it
In his eyes I want to be a smiling picture
which disappears, once he opens them.
In his mind, I want to be a sweet memory,
he will always remember
I guess that's enough for me.

I will move on, I know it.
I craved it,
Experienced it,
Lost it.
It has obviously made me wiser
And I'm thankful for that
Slowly I realised I never won
It was always his win.