Contract Commitment ▪︎ADIYA▪︎

•Eight•

Nobody said it better than Milan Kundera: 'Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite- love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman)'. It was this that he had been hoping to explain to his wife, but his timing wasn't on par with the activity she was currently doing.

Glugging down a glass of water, she eyed him sceptically, he'd been looking at her for a while now, hadn't said anything and hadn't moved from the chair opposite her even though he'd long ago finished his dinner.

"I want us to sleep together".

Spitting out the water, Zoya's hand smacked harshly on her chest with each splutter burning her throat and nose "You want to what?"

Aditya's eyes turned back, a bemused smirk on his red lips "Not sex, literal sleep".

"Oh, well" taking their dishes to the sink, she decided to busy herself with scrubbing them clean while she thought. Put simply it wasn't that she didn't want to and in that simple explanation was where her issue led. She'd spent the majority of hours in a day trying to work out what it was she felt, there was no doubt that she wanted their friendship, but it was also beginning to get harder to ignore her urges for him in a more sexual way, she knew it could all go right, but that it could also go wrong. She loved him already as a friend, loving him as more wasn't difficult, but if he didn't reciprocate? If jealousy got in the way? If he fell and she didn't? There were too many possible flaws to his plan and Zoya had never been the kind of person to take risks. Jumping at the sensation of his arms around her waist, she huffed loudly "Must you?"

Pushing his chin into the crook of her shoulder, he inhaled the familiar strawberry scent of her shampoo. "I must".

Drying her hands on the cloth beside him, she turned in his arms so she was caged between his two arms. "Just sleep?"

"Just sleep" he promised. "We can sleep in your bed or mine, whichever makes you more comfortable". They'd come so far that going back felt pointless and they certainly couldn't stay where they were, far too many things had been left unsaid and he felt far too unclear.

She knew that if he slept in her room she'd struggle after to be there without him, even before this intimacy garble had begun she'd been unable to sleep without his scent, she could only imagine the difficulty this would lead to. "Your bed, let me just get ready and I'll meet you there".

•••

Raising a brow over his book, Aditya folded the corner of the page and slipped it beneath his pillow "What are you wearing?" He hadn't meant to be rude, but feared his tone had made it sound that way.

Looking down at her far too large t-shirt and leggings, she frowned "It's pyjamas?" Her gaze was questioning.

"I know that" he smirked, "I'm wondering why you're wearing them, you always wear my shirt". Was this her way of trying to say she wasn't comfortable with the new closeness or was he just overthinking?

"Oh," she giggled. "Well, I'm sleeping with you, wearing your shirt kind of defeats the object, I don't need it if I have you". The way his eyes suddenly ran over her body, she almost jumped out of her skin. Hiding beneath the cover, she led right at the edge, closed her eyes tightly and did the only thing she could think of to make her feel a little less awkward- sing. There were two in the bed and the little one said, 'roll over, roll over', so they all rolled over and one fell out, ooh did they scream and shout, please remember to tie a-".

"Uh, Zoya" Aditya was now leant over her, one hand on his cheek and his elbow firm on the pillow. Staring down at her as she peeked through her lashes, he chuckled roughly "You okay?"

"Yes," she squeaked, "Just singing".

Falling back, he nodded slowly "Fair enough". It was moments like this he realised how grateful he was to have her, her odd behaviour was only one of the things about her that had drawn him in, honestly, he wouldn't have her any other way. This was her, this was him, this was them and he was always so thankful that she was a part of the unity he felt so blessed with. Clearing his throat, he joined in.

"Please remember to tie a knot in your pyjamas cause single beds are only made for one".

The second they finished, he yanked her to him. "Hello".

Waggling her fingers, she hid her face in his chest.

"What's making you so shy?"

Huffing loudly, she rolled onto her back "Well this is so" waving her hand around, she turned her head, "Yanno?"

"Can't say I do" he feigned ignorance, it was quite obvious what she meant.

Her eyes narrowed at the coy smile on his face, as usual, he wanted her to be the one to sag it! "You know" she poked his chest, focusing a little too much on the indent of muscles on his stomach as she did. "Intimate" she whispered, "Sex is easy and this is".

"And this is not" he completed, fully understanding what she meant. You could turn your emotions off when you were indulging in sexual behaviour, you couldn't exactly do that when you were laying beside someone you were already close to, certain things needed a little push in the right direction and this was them on the road to realisation. "Nothing good is easy, in my experience what feels good often starts off hard" eyeing his trousers, he flicked her nose.

"Oh, shush" she smacked his cheek lightly, giggling when he rubbed it and pouted. This was what she liked, when they could be undeniably them without having to worry about anything else, she'd spent too much time driving herself mad, right now she just wanted to bask in the moment. Nestling her face into his neck, she slung an arm over his torso.

Massaging her scalp, Aditya shut his eyes "This doesn't have to be difficult, this is us, you know us, you're a part of us".

"Maybe the fact that it's us is what makes it so difficult" she didn't expect him to respond, there wasn't really much he could say.

But he did. "That's why it means so much, everything scary tends to be meaningful and there isn't anything that means more to me than you" kissing her hair, he sighed loudly.

Looking up, Zoya rested her chin on his chest. Allowing herself a few minutes to admire the way his long lashes fluttered against his tanned cheeks, the stubble caressing his sharp jawline only added to the maturity of his features. Running the pad of her thumb beneath his eye, she pressed her lips to his momentarily "You're important to me too" whispering against his throat she allowed sleep to lull her into the safety of her best friend.