The Tower: Unexpected

The Skjodbærers

The surgery didn't take long. All up I was alone, holding Bucky's hand for about half an hour. I was then wheeled to observation to wait with him alone until I was cleared. It felt weird. Because it was a spinal block, I still felt quite clear-headed, but as it left my system, the pain started to return. I was given painkillers for it that was safe for the babies, but that was what started to make me feel a little groggy and sleepy.

It felt strange though. An hour ago I was pregnant and now I wasn't and I still hadn't gotten to properly hold my babies. It felt like there was something missing.

"When do I get to hold them?" I asked.

"I know you want to," Bucky said. "But not until you're cleared."

"I feel weird without them. Like part of me is missing."

Bucky leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "It's going to be okay, El. Trust me."

"I don't even know if they are okay. They're just so little."

"Yeah, but," Bucky said, moving to sit next to me in the bed. I shifted into the crook of his arm and he wrapped it around me. "Did you hear how loud Pietro cried? Or what about how curious Riley was?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, I did." I said and took his hand, playing with his fingers and running my fingertips over the decorative metalwork in his hand. "Were you okay with all the medical stuff?"

He raised his eyebrows at me. "For my kids?"

"I mean... you just sat through surgery for me and I know you don't like people coming at you with needles. That was a big fucking needle they used."

"And it was for my kids," Bucky said.

I smiled and nuzzled at his hand, it really sinking in right then. We knew that the biological fathers were Thor and Clint, but these were Bucky's kids. He didn't just see himself as a caretaker for someone else's. He was all in. To the point that he would endure things that trigger him to make sure they were safe and so was I. "Your kids."

"Yeah," He said and kissed the top of my head. "We have those now."

"Two of them," I agreed. "They didn't exist. Now they do."

"Yeah, it can get a little trippy if you think about it that way," Bucky said, with a soft laugh.

"Yeah. It really feels weird how I was pregnant and now I'm suddenly not. I feel..." I waved my hand near my head, not quite sure how to describe the cognitive dissonance I was feeling.

"Yeah, but very soon you can squish them," Bucky said, pulling me a little tighter to him.

"If they ever let me," I grumbled.

"They will."

"They're so little though," I said, curling in against Bucky more. "What if I squash them for real? Did you see how tiny Pietro looked in Steve's hands?"

Bucky stifled a laugh. "Calm down, doll. You're not going to squash any of them."

"They look so fragile," I whined.

"They are a little early," Bucky said, cuddling me. "You're gonna be a great mom, Elly."

The door opened and two nurses came in pushing incubators in front of them. Pietro and Riley were tucked inside each. Both with heartrate monitors and Pietro had a nasal cannula too. "Here's your babies, mommy," The first one said, pulling the incubator up and gently lifting Riley from it. She brought her over to me and carefully put her into my arms. "You should try breastfeeding, but they will need to go back in the crib in 20 minutes." I adjusted how I was sitting so I was both comfortable and could offer my breast to Riley. The nurse helped me out until she was latched on and suckling well.