Puti ang una kong nakita nang imulat ko ang aking mga mata. Pinagmasdan ko ang paligid at napagtanto ko na nasa ospital ako. Iniangat ko ang aking kamay at napansing may IV tube na naka-kabit dito at ang nuo ko ay may gasa sa bandang kanan.
"Raihya..." napalingon ako sa tumawag sa akin.
He looked like a mess. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, probably because of crying. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair looks like it's been ran by his hand many times.
Tumayo sa Achi mula sa sofa at lumapit sa akin. Tiningnan niya ako ng may lungkot sa mga mata at umupo sa kama ko.
Bigla akong umiyak nang matandaan ko ang mga nangyari.
Ang kotse. Ang rumaragasang truck...
...Si Lucho.
Lahat ng nangyari noong gabing iyon ay bumalik sa akin. Mas lalong sumakit ang ulo ko. Patuloy pa rin ako sa pag-iyak habang inaalo ako ng pinsan ko.
"Shhh... It's going to be alright, Raihya."
"S-si Lucho, Achi. Okay lang ba siya?" I managed to ask.
My voice was stuttering and my eyes were hopeful as I looked at him.
My cousin looked at me with sorrowful eyes. Then he held my hand before sighing heavily.
I just looked at him with hopeful eyes, still. Kahit na nakikita ko na mismo ang mga sagot sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa akin. I still hoped that he would say that Lucho's fine and recovering.
"...Achi?" I asked him again when he didn't say anything for awhile.
"Lucho is...g-gone, Raihya." he said slowly, his voice breaking.
"W-what?" I asked again, when I thought I heard it wrong.
"He's gone. Lucho is go-"
"No! H-he can't be! Maybe he... s-survived, Achi." I said as I cut him off.
He just stayed quiet, not looking at me.
"Achi, let's go to h-him... Maybe we just heard it wrong!"
"Or maybe he's at the other room... recovering!" pagpupumilit ko.
He just shook his head then he ran his hands through his hair, frustratedly.
"Achi... come on. Take me to him..." I asked him when I didn't get any response from him.
"If you won't take me to him, then I'll just go to him by myself!" I shouted at him.
He looked at me with bloodshot eyes.
"Lucho is gone, Raihya! You were there with me when you heard the doctor announced his death! Stop saying that he's still alive because he isn't and you have to put that in your damn mind! He is not going to wake up anymore because he's already dead!" he shouted at me.
"No he is not! He is still a-alive!" I shouted back at him.
"How could you say that?! He's your bestfriend! Are you just going to giving up just like that?!"
"I am not giving up because there is nothing to fight for! He is already dead, Railahya. Dead! What part of that word can you not understand-"
"Shut up! I don't wanna hear it anymore!" I said as I cried.
His face turned soft when he saw me crying again.
"Oo na! Patay na siya! Hindi mo ba alam kung gaano kasakit sa akin na makita ko siya doon?! Lifeless?! Ha? Achi?! Kaya you don't have to fucking say it over and over agai-
