Lovely ~ Shinkami ~ BNHA

Anything For You, Lovely One

( Hey self harm warning! Please read with caution! )

Shinsou opened his eyes and darkness surround. How long had he slept for? He checked his phone, it was 2 am.

'just perfect!'

The purple haired student groaned as he sat up. Pumpkin jumped up onto him. Shinsou forget that his cat slept on his bed with him every night. Before the dorms, the cats always slept on his dad. He was a feline magnet.

He pet her and she meowed at him. Shinsou turned his bedside lamp, which cast dim light across his small room. All of a sudden, he blushed intensely, remembering last night's kisses with Denki.

'Denki doesn't want you'
'he just feels bad for you'
'he wouldn't care if you left'
'no would notice if you left'

'why can't I be left alone for once?'

Tears fell from Shinsou's eyes. He thought about how he had let Denki kiss him. Denki didn't need Shinsou messing him up anymore. He carefully moved his cat off of him.

Shinsou went into his bathroom and found the box of razors. He pulled up his dark purple hoodie sleeves and cut his arms.

1...
2...
3...
4...

Then he lost count. Shinsou watched the blood drip down. He looked over at his other arm. There were scars from the night when he had helped Denki when he fell.

' Denki...'
'what would denki think?'
'what would he say if he saw me?'

Shinsou hoped he'd never have to know. Worry struck him. What if Denki was in trouble right now? Maybe he was in trouble from their talk earlier?

Shinsou's heart beat faster in worry. He sat down on the bathroom floor. His mind was racing with what could be going wrong with Denki.

'he's probaly fine, just asleep'
'i should go check on him'
'no, that's too weird and creepy'
'if he sees me, I'll say I was just lonely and awake'

Just as he stood up, he fell back down from the pain if his arm. It all came at once and was intense. His mind was filled with only the pain of his arm, and not worry, stress, or of what others thought of him. He stayed like that for a while.

An urge came over him.

'do the other arm'
'you'll be free for a while'
'then you can go see Denki after wrapping it up'

He grabbed the razor again and messed up his other forearm. He tried not to cut his previous scars. When the pain came, he embraced it and let it fill him. After it had passed, he felt everything else return.

What also returned was the fear that Denki could be upset or hurting.

The purple haired teen stood back up and wrapped his arms up with the first aid kit. Shinsou closed the bathroom door behind him and went to his blonde neighbor's door, turning his light off first. He was very careful to be quiet.

Knock knock

A very tired Denki opened up the door. His eyes lit up when he saw Shinsou and he grabbed his hand. Denki closed the door and brang him to the bed.

"What are you doing awake so late, Silly Boy?"

"I woke up and felt lonely. I have trouble falling back to sleep, so I came to see you."

Shinsou stared at the floor. He felt stupid for thinking that Denki would be in any trouble. Yet he still wanted to look back at his golden eyes.

"Well I also woke up a little bit ago. Maybe 5 minutes ago or somethin' like that. I don't know how I'm gonna fall back asleep either."