Jake is drunk, Michael is high. This is straight up crack. ⚠️Language and just everything about this⚠️
———
Jake: *slurs* DUUUUUDE, WHERE IS THE DOG
M: *whispers* Jeremy's not *giggles* Heere
Jake: *slurs* NOOOOO, NOT A PUSSY CAT, A DOG
M: *whispers* Not Heere *laughs uncontrollably*
-—-–-
M: Let's follow the- *jumps over nothing* YELLOW brick road
Jake: WHAAAAAAA
M: TO WONDERLAND
Jake: Immmma eat youuuu you frickin Ki'Kat
M: MONKEYS *ducks*
-–-—-
Jake: *slides up to a potted plant* Whaaaaats popping good looking? I love your leeeaves. Never knew you could do that, Rich....
Michael: *recording* That plant has pot but it's illegal???
-—-–-
Michael: Dude... If I have a cracked open cold one in one yard and a milkshake in the other... Where will the boys go?
Jake: what?
Michael: wHERE WILL THE BOIS GO?
Jake: bROOOS BEFORE HOES. TO THE BUD LIGHT *chugs a beer*
M: WHOOOOOOOOOO!!
-—-–-
Jake: *sung drunkenly of course* 🎶⚡I WAS MEAAANNT TO BEE YOUUUURS⚡🎶
Rich: Lol what?
Jake: nOOOOO HOOOOMMMO
Rich: I'm- *tackles Jake*
Jake: oOF- strong and healtee *tries to kiss*
Rich: nO- *holds up Jake's phone*
-–-—-
BOSS™(Jake): I lioooooopove you 💙💛💙💛😂😤🎶😉💙😂💯😉🎶😤😤😉😉😅😉🔫🔫🔫🎶😂😁😁💀💀😇😇🤓🤓😈😈😈😈😈🙈🙈🙈👩❤💋👩👩❤💋👩👩❤💋👩💪💪💪🙌😎😂😤😤
Chloe💋: we broke up two months ago
BOSS™: bEGOBE THiT- SHOW THAT TO RICH
BOSS™: JIISISJSK
BOSS™: ZJVESU
BOSS™: SBSNDIH
BOSS™: EBS
Chloe💋: Rich says he's with you and Michael??
Chloe💋: omg are you drunk??🤔
BOSS™: SGAGG GET OF MY PFONe
Chloe💋: Jeez
-–-—-
xXRetroBoiXx sent an image (blurry image of him, a barfing Jake, and Rich)
xXRetroBoiXx: Jason's dying
Jeremy: Delete my number
~Missed a call from xXRetroBoiXx
xXRetroBoiXx: answer
Jeremy: no
~Missed a call from xXRetroBoiXx
xXRetroBoiXx: answer
Jeremy: no
xXRetroBoiXx sent an image (pic of Jake crying into the toilet bowl)
xXRetroBoiXx: Jason's crying
xXRetroBoiXx: answer
Jeremy: fine
>On Phone<
J: You know his name is Jake, right?
M: *giggles* Shuuut up! Jason wants to talk because the elf left
*On speaker*
*Screams of the damned followed by barfing*
*More giggling*
"I.. *swallows* miss my house... *throws up*
"It'll *giggles* come back from vacation!"
"Stupid, D-"
xXRetroBoiXx ended the call
Jeremy, thinks: why did Rich leave them alone?? Oh gosh... I need to get there
-–-—-
JHeere: Hey, I've arrived! Where's Jake???
M: :O
JHeere: Michael
M: :O
JHeere: Mi-
M: JASON, THE FLASH IS HERE
Jake: *stumbles* Whaaaa? Oh craaa that was quiiii'
JHeere: Wait, no-
M: He's the Flash, WEEEEEE *tackles Jeremy*
JHeere: WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS–
-—-–-
Jake, crying while holding a pillow: ...a-and I never saw my parents since...
Michael, pouting: Aww... It's okay, Jason... *Hugs*
Jake: *cries into Michael shoulder* Thaaaank you. I love you biiiiiiih
Michael: I ain't ever gonna stop loving you....
Michael and Jake: Biiiiih
Jeremy, recording: what the crap?
YOU ARE READING
One-Shot Book (a side of... extra)
FanfictionI'm doing it over! I have a lot of one-shots left astray and I wanted to clean everything up and sweep into this book. All the stories will be here! Mind you, these are OLD! My writing has improved since then. So maybe there will be some new ones. I...
