Dork Diaries : Truth or Lie

Saturday , May 9th

I didn't really have anything to write about this whole week . All of it was :
Brandon still making me confused , Chloe and Zoey ignoring me , talking to Mac and showing her all my Frendon x Naki doodles , being picked on by my teachers for not paying attention , well I'm so glad this week is finally over because ....

I got my life back ! :) My phone , my cruddy social life , and my TV ! I kissed my cellphone and hugged it like it was my lost child and I found them again !
Mom and Dad gave me one more lecture about money being a serious object and how I should be careful , but I totally understood . The whole losing my media part mocked me the whole week ! But I still miss that adorable bag ! Good thing I took some selfies with it ! :) And I have some pics with me and Mac too ! :)

Anyways , I'm up now and I wish I could go back to sleep ! Ugh ! Brianna HAD to wake me up because we're having an FST , which is the reason why I DIDN'T want to wake up ... It all started when ... *taps on chin* Oh yeah I remember !

I remember peacefully lounging on my bed , so comfortably and nicely , when I was RUDELY jolted by the original Brianna ! She kept yelling nonsense to me and jumping on my bed and throwing pillows at my face and all sorts of stuff . " Wake me up when September ends ! " I yelled . " No ! You need to wake up now ! Not in September ! The Princess Sugar Plum movie is in the theaters and mom and dad says you need to get ready or else they'll get really growly and zip you up in a Gooey purse and make you locked in there for 10 months !! " Brianna yelled back .

Didn't Brianna understand band references ? :( And plus I'd rather be zipped up in a Gooey [ I know she meant Gucci ] purse for 10 or so months than see that movie !

But I got ready anyways . Shouldn't I get an award for dealing with life ? :(

Driving to the movies was so much torture , and I'm so done ! We're not even at the movies yet ! Brianna can't stop singing that dopey Princess Sugar Plum song from the trailer ! Even mom and dad have to put in their designer ear buds to block out her racket ! I would sure love some designer ear buds ! Does Gucci make some ? Could I put it on layaway ?

I'll report more on this news breaking story when I get back from this atrocity they call a movie ...

That was the worst experience I ever had with movies . I'm pretty sure Brianna didn't listen to that money lecture FST we had a week ago , because , Brianna stole ! OMG !
Story is , she wouldn't stop whining for those Sour Lickies , which are basically gummy fish coated in sugar . When mom and dad clearly said no , she just grabbed not one , but FIVE Sour Lickies from the counter , and munched on them happily during the movie .
Spoiler : She saves the unicorns ! And the gummy bears ! Too bad the gummy fish are in Brianna's stomach right now . It's not like I paid attention to the movie that much . I couldn't even hear because Brianna kept tapping on this old man's head saying " Hey guy with a shiny head ! Wanna see me catch fish with my mouth ?! " Poor man ! All the half eaten fish would fall on his head , and she would just grab them and munch it all down . Luckily the old man didn't say a word , probably because he was sleeping , which I would have done , but couldn't ! There was one family that reported us though , and they were behind us ! They looked like the Addams Family #2 . I mean hey , it was true !
" Hello there ! Did you come from that horror movie ? Did you jump out of the screen ? How did it feel ?! Miss Penelope and I wanna know ! Do you eat humans ? " The whole family just squinted at us and told us if we didn't calm down , they would call the police ! I was about to tell Brianna to turn around when she said this :
" How does human people taste ? Mom says that it's impossible to eat humans and Dad tells me to not talk about but I wanna know ! How many people did you eat ! Do you eat them for dinner ! Please don't eat me ! I can get you to change your diet ! "
That's when the little girl that looked similar to Wednesday Addams started ATTACKING Brianna , and Brianna fought back , jumping on the girl and yelling
" You can't fight me because I have Princess Sugar Plum powers ! I bought the magic set from Target and I became a princess but then an evil monster named Nikki took it away but I can still be a super girl so KABOOM ! " Brianna threw the Sour Lickies and the girl , and she grabbed Brianna's hair . Mom and Dad tried to pull Brianna back , but that's when the police told us to get out !

They said we had to pay $40 , yes $40 because Brianna stole ! They explained a family wanted to buy some , when they were all gone . A bystander reported Brianna stole . Mom paid with her credit card , now we're driving back .... in awkward silence ....

Mom and dad are again disappointed , but Brianna doesn't seem to be bothered . In fact when she beat up the girl , she told mom she became the Princess Sugar Plum's private ninja to beat up human eating monsters , but that just made mom mad .
If I ever need help , I can call Sugar Plum's private ninja to beat up someone ! NOT . :(