I puked on the sideway while cars were chasing down the asphalt. Undigested food ended up on the field of daisies before me and got stuck between my teeth. The blazing sun and upcoming dizziness made my eyes water and my vision blur. Heat crawled down my body and I couldn't decide whether the smell of vomit or salty sweat made my stomach want to puke even more.
But when I stumbled and kissed the ground as well as my own barf, I didn't stand up anymore.
Just laid there on the pavement next to a country lane that led to nowhere. Bees hummed and flew over the field of yellowness and I wished that I was one of them. Not because I wanted to be an insect, but somebody else. Only for a day.
Even though the moment I try to put that feeling into actual words, people won't understand. That it isn't about my somewhat crappy life or the thought of death lingering on my mind, but rather than the urge to escape from the never ending spiral, the steadiness of all that I am. This feeling of indifference.
Believe it or not, I was ready to close my eyes there. Resting for a bit. And I think I lost my consciousness for quite some time, while my surroundings turned into parts of the dreams that kept haunting me. In a good kind of haunting. Like those memories you once made up and think about and then accept as your own.
A horn was honked, but I couldn't care less.
"The fuck are ya' doin' there?"
•••
Thank you very much for stumbling upon my story! I'll give my best to update it regularly. Don't worry, the following chapters will be longer.
Stay healthy, stay safe and stay at home #corona ♡
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pushing daisies.
Non-FictionAfter a failed attempt to recover from her illness, Wren is now stuck in life and has to pay the bills for her shitty appartement, which she can't. At the edge of 22 the young woman decides to take the matter in her own hand and starts working as a...
