Illusion

Chapter Two

          I watch the subway doors patiently waiting for the second they will slide open so that I can get through before they become too crowded to get out.  I hate taking the subway; so many people get on and off and many of them are a little odd, and it can be slightly frightening for me being a twenty-one year old female in New York, New York.  Thankfully I do not have to do it often because usually Liam would take me.

          The moment the doors open I squeeze through and quickly trot over to the stairs and up towards the street that will lead me to the little bakery I work at.  I swear under my breath when I see the time, 7:28.  I cannot be late again, Katherine has had her last straw with me and I know it.  I silently curse Liam for refusing to take me today just because of a silly argument last night.  The bakery is on his way to school anyway.

          The bakery is still another five minutes away by foot and my heart begins to race.  I cannot lose this job.  I adjust my bright blue beanie that covers my messy red hair that I was in too much of a hurry to deal with this morning.  I pick up the pace praying that I get there in time, or maybe by some unimaginably small chance Katherine is running late too.

          When I finally reach the small building on the corner of 21st, I pad in quietly going straight to the aprons, hoping to put mine on quickly and act like I had been here for a while.  I glance around before grabbing my apron, and see there is no Katherine in sight.  I let out a deep breath as I successfully tie the knot and spin around.

          “ You are late,” Katherine notes frowning at me and I nearly jump out of my skin when I realize she had snuck up on me and is currently standing less than a foot away from me.

          “I can explain.  You see, the subway was-”

          “No more excuses, Carter.  I do not want to hear it anymore.  This is the twelfth day in a row you have been late and you have only been here two months.  You are late quite frequently, but this is your longest streak,” she states tapping her foot with a disapproving glare.  If looks could kill, I would be dead on the spot.

          “I can change I promise. There has just been a lot going on lately. I do not know what to say, but please give me another chance.” I beg and I am disgusted at myself with how pathetic I sound, but I am in fact quite desperate.  Liam and I depend on this income, as well as my mom and Chloe.  I cannot let them down.

          “I really am sorry Carter, but I am going to have to ask that you leave now.  I will send your last paycheck by the end of the month,” she states with no mercy in her dark, brown, beady eyes.

          “Is there anything I can do, anything at all?” I whisper.  Tears sting my eyes as I think of little Chloe’s tattered sneakers that I have been working so hard to pull together the extra money to replace.

          “You can start applying for a new job,” Katherine says harshly then sticks out her long, gnarled fingers waiting for my apron.  I slowly take it off and as I do so a feeling of guilt wrenches in my gut.  I need this job; we need this job.

          I trudge hesitantly to the glass door with heavy feet and my head hanging low.  I feel as though I have failed everyone I loved.  They depended on me and I lost the damn job.  Liam is too busy with school to pitch in, and my mom works every shift she can at the hospital, but it just is not enough.  And Lord knows what Cameron is up too lately, we are lucky if we get a phone call once a month.

          I turn a corner and get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, because I know I really shouldn’t be doing this especially with what just happened, but right now I really need it.  

          “Hey Mitch,” I do my best to muster a half-smile as I sit at a barstool across from my old friend.

          “Wow Carter, look at you.  Haven’t seen you in ages, too cool to stop by and see old friends now, yeah?”  He smirks already filling me a glass from behind the counter.

          “No, I have just been busy, but I will not be that busy anymore,” I frown to myself before taking a swig of the alcohol and savoring the sting in the back of my throat.

          “Finally broke up with that asshole Devon kid?”  Mitch chuckles to himself as I roll my eyes.

          “His name is Liam, and no we are perfectly happy thank you.  I just lost my job at the bakery that is what I meant when I said I will not be as busy,” I correct him and he looks a little surprised.

          “What? Carter Morfey loses a job?  That’s not the Carter I knew in high school.  She got all A’s and was never late to a single date.  Even showed up to school on a day we had off just to make sure she wasn’t missing anything,” he gasps.

          “Well, you know people and circumstances change,” I mutter finishing off the drink, and almost immediately Mitch is refilling it.  We were best friends most of high school and he was my last boyfriend before Liam.  He was a great guy, and the main reason we broke up is that we went to school out of state for two years.

          “That’s unfortunate, because I quite liked the old you,” he speaks softly and I feel my cheeks heat up, and unfortunately with a pale complexion it is impossible Mitch did not notice.  I look into his eyes for a moment and realize that I really miss him, and our memories together.

          “Well, you do not know the new me,” I point out with a shrug of my shoulders as I try to brush off the past gnawing at my heart.

          “Well, maybe I would like to get to know the new you,” he fires back with a rather charming smile. I bite my lower lip to hold back a smile.  He leans across the bar getting rather close and I can feel his alcohol wreaking, hot breath on my nose.  I close my eyes for a second and breathe in his scent.  Then I snap back to my senses and I immediately feel a twinge of guilt and stand up abruptly from the chair.

          “I am sorry, but I really should get going.  I need to go tell Liam the news,” I say reminding myself of the man who awaits me back in our apartment.

          “Okay then.  It was good seeing you Carter, please stop by any time. Drinks are on the house,” he says with a sad smile, and I politely nod my head in thanks before ducking through the door of the little bar with burning cheeks.

          I twist the key in the knob to our little home.  I had not seen Liam’s car outside, so I assume that he is still at school, which comes as somewhat as a relief since I now have more time to figure out how to break the news to him.  He is already so stressed with school and getting his degree and I know this will only add stress.

          I first head to the kitchen to get some water to cool down, even though I still feel the alcohol in my system slightly blurring my vision.  Good thing I took the subway back and did not have to drive.  I finish pouring my glass when I think I hear someone in the house.

          My heart pounds with suspicion as I tip toe over to the direction of the sound; the guest room, and it almost sounds like voices.  I do not know what courage possesses me as I crack open the door, but I immediately wish I had not.

          My heart falls through the floor as I stumble out of the doorway knowing no matter how much I try I will never be able to erase that image of my mind.  The image of my Liam having sex with another woman in our own bed. 

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