Stay: The sequel to Lost

Part 8

Penny figured it out. She wasn't angry with Liam. She wasn't upset with his life. She was bored. Flat out, mind numbingly bored. She'd spent her entire life working in some way or another. She'd had school or helping her mother with the Lake House. Then she had a job, a real job, teaching. She'd always had someone to take care of, her mother, her stepfather, the guests at the Lake house, Liam. Here? She didn't need to talk care of anyone, even herself. There was someone to so her laundry, cook her meals, do her shopping. She didn't have anything to DO! Sure, she could paint or draw, but now that it was her entire life, she found that she needed more.

She woke up Liam and told him she'd figured out why she was unhappy. It wasn't him, the situation or even Louis. It was her brain. She needed to fill her time, find someone or something that needed her or she'd go crazy, lost in her own mind.

Liam looked up at her, bleary eyed. "Okay, then, let's have a baby. That will give you someone to look after." he said.

"Liam!"

"What?" he said. "It's a great idea. I love you, I love kids. I want a family, you want a family."

"We aren't married!" she protested.

Liam shrugged. "You don't have to be married to have a baby. And that's an easy fix. Vegas, Baby. We can get married tonight. No problem."

"You don't have a baby because you are bored, Liam. No, I need to fill my time with something more. I just don't know what yet."

"Pen, I still want to get married right now. We can do the whole big thing this summer, but let's get married, for us. And why not try for a baby, anyhow? Just stop using birth control or whatever? Let what happens, happen. I think it's a great plan."

Penny laughed. Sure, she wanted to marry Liam right now and have children, but what she was feeling was more than just the need for a child. She needed to feel important, worthy, have a purpose in life, not just being the wife of someone important. And if she was just wife, she wanted to BE a wife. She needed to take some control back of her life. She wanted to go shopping and make dinner, if she felt like it. She needed freedom. Liam's housekeeper in England was a tyrant, used to being alone, doing things her way. She'd start with her. The staff here, in California, wasn't permanent and she could fix them, tell them how she wanted things. Maybe if she got used to being 'in charge' here, she could do it in England and feel less like a guest in Liam's life.

Well, there was no better time to start then now, she thought, getting out of bed and heading to the shower. She'd start now, taking charge of her life. She let the hot water run over her body, thinking of all the things she'd do today.

Suddenly, Liam wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. "Good morning," he mumbled in her ear. "Let's start on my plan right now."

Penny spun around, wrapping her arms around his neck. "What plan is that?" she smiled.

"Knocking you up." Liam said, kissing her neck.

Penny laughed. "Well, we can try, but it will be a while before my birth control wears off. But, I like to practice." Figuring out her problem, understanding what was wrong with her, made her relax, give into him, be with him in a way she hadn't in a long while, giving all of her, heart and mind.

Liam pushed her to the wall of the shower, lifting her legs so she could wrap them around him. "I love you, Liam and I am so happy to be here with you. You know that, right?" she said. She put her hands on his face, making him look into her eyes. "I am not sorry I left my life, this is not what this is about. I want you to know that, okay? I love you. I want to marry you, I want to have children with you."

"I know. I know, Pen." He smiled, kissing her again, over and over until she was begging for him to enter her. He thrust into her, filling her completely, reminding her of how much she loved him, this, being with him. Reminding her of why she was here, away from her family. She was here for him, for this, for the love they had together. And it would be enough. It could be enough. She would find her place and she would be happy, happier than she'd ever been before.