best friend | j.hs

if only

i walked into my school, head hanging low as i felt the stares on me. as i reached my locker, one of my bullies came and pushed me to the ground.

"what the hell do you think you're doing here huh? i told you i never wanted to see your disgusting face ever again." she spat. i wanted to talk back but i was too afraid of what she might do. i was clearly out numbered and no matter what i did, she'd always come back with something worse.

her friends came up behind her and snickered at my vulnerable state. i felt tears burning in my eyes as they bruised me. she roughly grabbed my hair and pulled me up; a yell leaving my mouth. just as she was about to slap me, a hand gripped hers and she reluctantly let go.

she turned, angrily, at the person but eyes widened in shock as she saw him.

"h-hoseok-ah, it's not what it looks like i-" he gave her no time to explain as he yanked her away from me, sending her a deadly glare.

"cut the bullshit eunchae," he said. his voiced dropped a few octaves and chills were sent down my spine. "i saw what i saw and don't you dare lay your hands on her ever again. do you hear me?" she nodded, frightened by his gaze, and scurried away; sending me one last glare mouthing that it wasn't over yet.

hoseok squated down towards when her figure disappeared and tucked my hair behind my ears. he smiled brightly and helped me up.

"are you okay?" he said softly. "we should go to the nurse' office to clean you up." i shook my head and told him it was fine but he took me there anyway.

i came to the nurse' room quite often so they knew me pretty well. one of them in particularly though, was very close to me and treated me as her daughter. when i entered the room she rushed over to me and lead me to the bed. glancing at me with a pitiful look as she examined my bruises.

"oh sweetie.. did they hurt you again?" she spoke in a sweet manner. i nodded and she sighed, getting the first aid kit before treating my wounds. as i was being treated, another student entered the room slightly bruised up so hoseok offered to help as there was no other nurse.

"there's another student, would you like me to help y/n instead?" he asked.

mrs. jung gave him a nod. "yes, thank you so much sweepea." she planted a small kiss on his cheek before attending to the other student, leaving me confused.

"are you and mrs. jung close?" i asked, curious.

"she's my mom." he said.

...

and that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. he was always there when eunchae or the other girls were bullying you. and eventually, they all apologized and you all parted ways. hoseok and you were like two peas in a pod. always together, having fun and enjoying each other's company. throughout the remaining years of high school, you both helped each other when one had a difficult situation and not once did you two abandon each other. you two were merely inseparable!

years passed and of course, both of you have gotten very busy by still make time for each other no matter how busy you both are. you two are often mistaken as a couple and act like you are when one is in a tight situation. but now you both have matured. you both have families of your own to take care of and is so thankful that this wonderful friendship hasn't been broken.

you smiled as you go up to the rooftop of your old school. the place you and hoseok would hangout too. as you looked around, remembering the times you were young, you singled upon a familiar figure.

"hoseokiee!!!" he turned around and your eyes met, causing both to smile brightly.

"ah, it's been so long since i've seen you y/nie~ i think you've grown taller!" he teased. you playfully smacked him and chuckled.

"yah we hung out literally three days ago aNd do not mock my height mister unless you want your kneecaps gone!" i threatened, pointing a finger at him.

he smirked and walked towards you. "is that a threat ms. kim?"

you raised your eyebrow at him mockingly. "and what if it is..?" silence grew over you two but then out of the blue he tickled you and you both fell on the floor admiring the night sky.

"remember the first day we met?" he started. "it was right here in this spot. we were both eating lunch and a bug came flying towards us and-"

"we toppled over realizing it was a spec of dust!" you both laughed at the memory. "i missed that.."

he turned to you and gave you a questionable look. "i missed the good old days. we would go out every night and do silly pranks, never getting caught," you sat back up. "but i love the present time right now," you said looking at him. "we both have wonderful families and a powerful friendship!"

he nods in agreement, standing up in the process. "well it's getting late, and man do i miss my wife.." you chuckled and stood up as well. you both walked down from the rooftop and gave each other a tight hug at the school's entrance.

"take care of your wife okay? especially now since she's what, 6 months in?" he nodded again and waved you goodbye before heading towards his car. "goodnight y/n!"

"goodnight hoseok!"

you looked back up at the stars one more time, seeing his face smiling down at you. you wiped the tears that were threatening to go out of your eyes before walking towards your car and heading home.

you wanted to pretend everything was alright but it wasn't. you wanted to be happy but you couldn't knowing that he was gone because of you. the guilt eating you every single day, never letting you sleep without seeing it happen over and over again. if only he hadn't tried to protect you, you both would be living happy lives.

i wish you were here with me, but you aren't. you never were.