The Crown

April 15, 2020- Discernment

It's me again... I am calling you because I have fallen short. I feel myself getting weaker... Without hearing from you makes me go crazy. I miss you. I need you in my life. There is no other like you. You fill me up and deliver me. Whenever I need to talk, I know that I can trust you. 

Let me start by explaining to you... my emotions... they tend to get the best of me. I am learning to control them... but my problem is I don't know when to stop using them. I am not saying that I want to neglect them, but I am saying I want to learn how to turn them on and off. I say this because, when we last spoke I told you how they come to me and strip me bare. I am now a naked soul... looking at them walk away with my integrity. Save me from people's egoistic ways. I don't know how much longer I can bear it... Days like these I just wish I could disappear. Travel and be alone... nothing but me and the sun kissing my skin. Dancing with the wind, talking to the ocean, and grounding with the trees. Disappear to realign with my highest self. Disappear to gain my integrity back. Disappear to come back stronger than before... I must watch out for those egoistic souls... they see my vulnerability and use it for their own personal gain... Why? I tell these beings time and time again I wish nothing but the best for you yet, these same beings still come to me and drain me with their catty ways. I once let this world turn me cold-hearted like one of them... but that is not I... I am the soul that is meant to love... but why must these people force me to turn my heart cold...  the one thing that I dislike the most is having to stop my unconditional love for a being. All I ever wanted to do was uplift and motivate you... all you wanted to do was stroke your ego... Does it make you feel good? 

Save me. I am not sure how much longer I can do this alone. This is why I call you, to seek your guidance. For your clarity. Use me as your vessel. Speak life into my lungs and let me use my sword to cast away egoistic beings. Continue to remove and reveal to me what is real and what is not. Speak to me and teach me your ways in order for me to see it for myself... I am so thankful for having you by my side. I always tend to get the lesson after the fact, and there is no problem... I just wish to see the traps before they come my way... help me to respond with wisdom to these traps they place out for me. Let me not give them all my tricks, but let me stay four steps ahead of the egoistic. They want to laugh at me, they want to call me a fraud. Little do they know that every action of me is from my heart and soul. I must limit their access to me... shutting them down with kindness. 

Scriptures: 

1 John 2:27 - But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true-- it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ. 

1 John 4:1 - Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 

Psalm 72:12-14 - For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper. he has pity on the weak and the needy, and saves the lives of the needy. From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.