It's All About Survival

Chapter 14

Ariana and I had a falling off because she seemed to always pick guy friends who did me dirty over her so called best friend. That summer, we barely saw her. She kept making excuses as to why she couldn't see her best friends next door. Ariana who was 16, had to babysit her 15 year old brother and that's why she couldn't return the shirt she borrowed from me the day of a festival two weeks earlier. All this drama and she lived next door to me. At this point, y'all can be the judge of this matter. However, she was willing to brace traffic and drive an hour away to see Abdullahi. I fell out with him because he had a lot to say to my best friend about me yet he never confronted me about it. Ariana had to tell me about it. My only problem is why would he feel so comfortable bad mouthing me to my best friend? Not only that, but he constantly kept disrespecting me and he was very hell bent on saying nigga although he was Arab and Tiff, Dani and I constantly warned him about it. One thing I know, if you constantly have to keep repeating to someone about something that they do and you feel is disrespectful, they do not respect you. It was above me, really.

Not only that, Ariana would really spin things around and make her the centre of it all. At first, I thought I was overreacting and that I was being impatient. I decided to be patient and give her time. However, things seemed to worsen after each passing day. In fact, I recall the day Tiff, Dani, Ari and I were headed for a Latino festival but we decided to make a quick stop Downtown at the Caribbean festival. For reference, Dani and Tiff are Haitian. The three of us really wanted to stop there for a quick minute.

The second we got there, Ari started adamantly saying that we should leave and that she was getting bored. Usually, we would have overlooked it. However, by that time, we had noticed a pattern. Whenever we'd do anything related to black culture, Ari would sit down, sulk and passive aggressively suggest we'd stop it. She'd really sit there and put out subliminal messages that indicated that she wasn't enjoying herself. We'd give her the control and she'd eventually turn on Latino music or whatever the case was. This never was the case with Angie. She's always been open to learning about our culture. It wasn't that we'd overdo it either. We were sensitive enough to know our limits. However, the fact it was a recurring matter didn't sit right with me. What's even worse is the fact that two years earlier, I was in her shoes, so I got it and I wasn't going to do the same to her.

We even had a sit down several times with her on the matter because it really brought down the group dynamic. We'd hangout perfectly when it was with anyone but Ariana. The second she'd join, the whole group chemistry would feel forced. We weren't like that in the beginning. It hurt to let her go but it was even more painful to keep her around. This whole situation was like hugging a cactus; it hurt more to hold on tight than it did to let go.

I was willing to civil with Ariana once I got over this whole fiasco. I knew I wouldn't hold a grudge for eternity but I was going to come around and forgive her eventually. However, our friendship was beyond repairs. Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean reconnection.

That summer flew by and the school year was upon us. Nothing had changed between Ari and I despite Dani playing mediator. I was being stubborn and I didn't want anything to do with her. The whole siding with Abdullahi and Fairuz took a toll on me. However, that thing that sealed the coffin of our friendship was when she accused me of turning the school against her. Now, if Dani, Angie and Tiff were still friends with her, what would I gain from that? In fact, a good friend of mine, Pamela, had tried to greet her but she completely ignored it.

To make matters even worse, she got her mom and the school involved in her entangled web of dysfunctional lies. All that and the school decided to side with me. They called her mother and let her know that her daughter has a tendency of overreacting and that she needed to get her facts right before blindly accusing innocent people. Imagine, trying to bring down someone minding the business that pays them and to have it backfire on you. She ended up losing Tiff and Angie as friends that day too. They calmly tried to find out her side of the story but she ended up snapping on them. One thing my girls don't do is get disrespected. That was the end of their friendship right there.