Wilting Roses (Formerly known as Arranged)

Conflicted

Chapter Ten

Summer shined brightly outside the tall glass window feeding nature its daily portion of life. Dathan sat quietly looking out, his hands laid slightly fisted over his lap as he absorbed the outdoors through his chambers. Never in his life did he realize he would actually miss going outside to enjoy the hot sun. When working in the fields, along with a few of his cousins, he took little notice to his surroundings.

Now as he sat looking through the large window of his chambers, he could not help but want to stand and take a long stroll outside his grand back yard. Lately his thoughts had begun to trouble him. For once none of it had to do with the plantation now being handled by Matthew for the time.

A week had drifted away and since then he had slowly began to progress. The nasty bruises on his back had now turned into a sickly yellow. Had it not been for her hard work Dathan believed he'd still be stranded to his bed. He shifted in his seat and turned from the window to reach for the coffee laying on a silver platter on the oil lamp stand. It was a brown leather book that caught his attention. It was a small booklet wrapped in expensive leather with the indentation of the letter S on the front. Curious, he reached for the small book and undid the bow on the side.

He read the handwritten confessions one by one. Dathan felt a small twitch in his chest as he realized then it was none other than Scarlett's personal thoughts. He swallowed guiltily but could not avert his eyes. This was the opportunity to know what she really thought of him. The beginning of the pages were merely about her family. She described the nobility of her parents and how she dearly missed her sisters.

Then after a few pages the writing changed. His interest peaked when a noble man was mentioned. Dathan felt his back straightened as he read each word. She spoke of his nobility, his tender touch and how she came to meet him. Every word seemed to put him on edge. With an angered sigh he closed the small book the instant her words became a bit too passionate for his taste. He clutched the book in his hands as each word ran through his head.

Clenching his jaw he forced himself to give little thought to the written words and settled the book back on the oil lamp stand. He rubbed at his temples and ran his fingers through his hair. He had been long overdue for a trimming. Even his stubble had begun to grow. He would see to it that he called for a barber to visit him on this day.

All thoughts were vanished when the door behind him opened. Dathan forced his gaze to look out and concentrate on the contrast of the daylight.

"How are we feeling this morning?" she asked.

He felt his heart slam inside his chest. Dathan fought to voice words but all he could register was anger. Scarlett had been romantically involved with another man under his nose. He was forcing himself to ignore it to learn to cope with it but somehow he found it difficult. In truth, what had he expected? Who was he to judge what she did?

"Are you well?" she asked.

"Perfectly fine, what is it that you want?" he rudely asked.

She stilled next to him and then quietly turned to walk away. Part of him felt guilty as he heard the door close. Closing his eyes he let out a frustrated sigh and slumped a little in his chair. He knew he was being hard on Scarlett for no reason. But why did it anger him to know she had another? Part of him was slowly realizing that something was changing and the other was merely telling him that it was his pride being affected.

Nevertheless, Dathan felt trapped inside his mind. He argued with his thoughts most of the day. Maybe spending too much time around her has affected my judgement, he would tell himself.

His hart seemed to hammer at the thought of her but he deeply tried to suppress the flutter of knots that formed at the pit of his stomach. Could he help being attracted to her physically? He felt sick to his stomach as he thought about it over and over again.