Big Happy Family

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Connor

I remember the first time CPS came to interview my mom. Lila was a year old and my mom had just kicked out her dad, Johnny. Johnny was not happy about being told he could only see his daughter on the weekends and called to say my mother was unfit to raise her child. The first time they came we were caught so off guard, because why wouldn't we be? We had never experienced something like this. And Mom was going through a break up, she was just trying to take care of me and Lila and didn't have the energy to take care of herself. CPS came and saw the house was a mess but ultimately they couldn't find anything so the gave her a warning. Now, once again, they're back and I can only assume it's because of Johnny again.

The morning after Greg's birthday I packed up Lila's stuff, thanked Greg and his dad for letting us crash there, and walked back to my house. As much as I wanted to just never go back, I know I can't care for a one year old all on my own. When I get home, though, I can already see a car I don;t recognize in the drive way, along with a police car on the street. Shit.

"Mom?" I call out as I enter the front door. Immediately I can see my mom in the living room, crying. The CPS lady is back, and two police officers are next to her. It's the type of situation where you know there was a conversation before you entered, but now its just an awkward silence.

"Connor, honey." My mom tries to compose herself, and steps towards me. "Ms. Emily has a court order to take Lila for a little bit. She's going to be okay though, okay?"

In situations like this, I would usually run away. That's kind of my thing. Greg had a psychology phase in middle school and analyzed the way we played pretend as kids, and according to him I run away from my problems. My childhood alter ego, Catboy, had the power of running really fast, was just a manifestation of me constantly running away from my problems instead of facing them. I didn't really trust everything that came out of Greg's mouth at that time, but in this moment I think he was right about one thing. I just want to run.

"Connor, I need to take Lila. I know this is scary, but it's what's best for her." Emily walks up to me, hands reaching out for Lila.

"What do you know about what's best for her?" I spat, pulling Lila tighter against my body. I can't lose her. I can't lose anyone else.

"Connor please." My mom now comes close, takes Lila out of my arms. "Connor, I have to tell you. I lost my job. And your dad's child support only does so much. We, I'm losing the house." My mother's eyes now have tears cascading down them, landing on Lila's head and she caresses her cheek. "I love you kids so much, but I can't support you kids right now. I didn't want you to have to worry about all this, but I can't hide it anymore. This won't be forever though. In as soon as six months I'll have a court date. If I have a job and a house I can get Lila back and we'll all be together, okay?" The pain in her voice is thick and shoots right through me, stabbing me in the heart.

The next moments seem to fly by. I'm given 30 minutes to say goodbye to Lila. They tell me she'll be staying with a family in town, that I can see her anytime. They said since I'm 17 I can choose to just stay with a friend. Before I know it Lila is gone with Emily and the police officers. Mom is packing what she can, muttering this and that about how she can't bring everything, she needs to be out by the following morning and then that's it. I take this time to grab what I can, school work, clothes, deodorant. Suddenly I realize how much I had when I'm losing most of it. One thing I do make sure to grab, other than necessities, a little blue mask and cape that hasn't fit in years, but if Greg knew I left it behind he would kill me. He's quite the sentimental type, and I'm actual kinda glad, though I would never tell him that. I wouldn't have anything of sentiment if it weren't for him.

Suddenly minutes turn into hours and the shock of it all has worn off. Looking at my packed bag, the Lila-less house, it hits me. Everything is different. And before I know it I'm crying, full on ugly crying and I can't stop. I've lost everything. My little sister was just taken away by a stranger and I don't know when I'll see her again. I'm losing my childhood house, my mom. Nothing is okay and I can't stand being here for another second. I don't care if leaving without saying goodbye to my mother is running away from conflict, it's her fault this is happening. There's only one place I want to be right know.

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