fireflies

nervous~

The quiet knock on my apartment door shook me. I would like to say I had been sleeping, but I was unable. Anxieties coursed through my veins as I thought of every way tonight could go. Slowly, I stood from the navy couch situated in the center of my living room.
My hand rested on the door knob for a moment as I gathered all my bravery to turn it. The cold metal stung my flaming fingertips, yet I found myself unable to pull away. Finally, I swiftly pulled the heavy door open.
I was greeted by Renjun's shy smile, his dark lips framing it's beauty. My eyes wandered around his face unconciously. My God he was breathtaking.
"Come in," I giggled. He bowed with his gloved hands politely positioned hear his lap. I quietly slid the door closed, examing his outfit from behind as I did. He wore a thick hoodie over another sweater matched with some heavy duty khakis. Revolting yet stylish on him. He began removing his mittens and his hood, shaking off the particles of snow before they melted into the fabric.
"Want anything to drink?" I asked while taking a step toward the cramped kitchen.
"Sure!" He cheered. I felt my eyes brighten just by hearing his excited tone. Before he could notice, I spun to face the pantry where I kept my grandmother's signature hot chocolate powder.
"Nainai's chocolate?" I asked.
"Of course." I heard him plop into the same chair he always sat in at my 2x2 ft table. My heel lifted from the ground as I tip toed to reach the large Mason jar filled with dark brown dust.
"Want me to help?" He chuckled. I rolled my eyes with a grin.
"As if you would be any better at reaching high places," I retorted with a giggle. He scoffed but slid out of the chair.
I suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around my thighs only to send me upward, giving a few centimeters to my height.
"I meant more like this," he said snarkily. My cheeks warmed from embarrassment. Finally, I grasped the side of the jar and slid it into my arms. Soon enough, my feet hit the ground.
"Sorry for that," I said, turning to face him. The moment our eyes met, my already burning face turned firey. His eyebrows shifted into confusion.
"Why do you seem so flustered?" His lips curved into a sly smirk. I averted my eyes else where while slipping my body from between him and the wall.
"Just a bit warm from my nap," I tried to excuse. I shook my head, that was the most foolish response I could have given.
As I tried to pour water into a coffee cup, I noticed how much I was shaking. My hands looked as if I had no control over them.
"Y/n...what's making you so nervous?" He asked more seriously. I shook my head once more as I tried to laugh my behavior off. With every second he was near me, I grew more skittish.
"Sometimes this happens," I turned away from him once again, but this time I had no where to go, I was faced with a wall. After releasing a long sigh to calm my heart, I twirled on my foot to face him. He stood not even a meter away, an arm reaching out to hold my shoulder. I knew if our skin made contact, I would erupt in butterflies.
"I've known you for years, this has never happened. Tell me the truth," he said with concerned eyes. Not often would his forehead wrinkle with confusion, but today it did.
I inhaled and opened my mouth to give an explanation, yet the words never came. Thousands of sentences spun in my mind. I couldn't spit out more than 2 words out at a time, only making the whole room dance like a hallucination.
"How about you do this later, let's go sit down." Finally, his fingers wrapped around my upper arm. I felt tears brim at my eyelids before rushing to set the cup on the counter.
"There you go," he encouraged. I took deep breaths in order to keep myself from crying; however, he noticed this as well. We stopped moving before he slid into my path.
"Look at me," he demanded. I hesitated before peering up into his eyes. They appeared so deeply concerned yet luminous. How did he always have fireflies reflecting in his orbs?
"Calm down, please. What's wrong y/n?" He pressed. Again, I took a few deep breaths until I was able to speak.
"Let's go to my room," I suggested. He nodded while slinking an arm across my thin shoulders to lead me to my own bed.
I gently rested on the edge of the mattress, scooting to the side in order for him to sit beside me. He didn't take my offer, however. He kneeled before my legs, a hand holding mine.
"Renjun," I began. It was now or never.
"I'm.....I'm in love with you," his hand slipped away from mine. Immediately, a river spilled down my cheeks as I felt the instant regret of saying anything at all.
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A/n
Hi I hope you enjoyed the first part of this story, Im trying to be less repetitive with my words and sentence structures, feel free to give me any feedback, good or bad, I would love to hear it.
Please stay safe, healthy, and happy guys, love u again <3