Bless The Broken Road

Winter Is Coming

Tony's eyes burned as they flitted across the screen. He was sure they must be red and bloodshot by now; considering he'd been sitting in the same chair in his lab for several hours, eyes glued to the screen in front of him as home videos of Peter played on repeat. Tony had always prided himself on not being nostalgic or sentimental but when it came to Peter, he was glad that didn't apply.

On the screen, Peter was 5 years old with chubby cheeks and a beaming smile. His brown hair was pushed back and there was a standard party hat strapped to his head. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Peter, happy birthday to you . . ." The people on the audio cheered and sang as a cake appeared on the screen.

5 year old Peter sucked in a big breath, his cheeks puffing out to make him look like a chipmunk, before releasing it all on the candles glowing brightly on the cake. Tony of the present squeezed his eyes tightly, letting the audio fill his brain as he desperately tried to hold in a sob.

"What did you wish for, kiddo?" Tony of the past spoke through the video, crouching down beside little Peter with one arm wrapped around the kid's shoulder. He could remember Peter's first birthday with him perfectly: Tony had been nervous for weeks, wanting to make the day special but also not go too overboard considering Pete had always been the more shy type. In the end, he'd settled on a Star Wars themed party hosted at Peggy's house in England. Bunting had lined the elder woman's home with lightsaber toys strewed around and the cake designed to look like the Death Star.

Peter had loved it.

"I can't tell you or it won't come true!" Little Peter's voice was higher than Tony remembered, the childlike tones hitting him right in his heart. He could almost hear Peter's voice in his mind the first time he'd ever spoken to him in SHIELD's HQ in DC. Peter sounded so different to the 11 year old Tony had seen and spoken to only a few days ago.

It broke his heart that he would never be able to hear what Peter's voice sounded like post-puberty.

"JARVIS," Tony opened his eyes, watching as Peter's 5th birthday came to a close. "Play the next video, please."

"Sir, you have been down here for 10 hours straight; i suggest getting some sleep and a possible snack." The AI sounded concerned and Tony couldn't even blame him, he probably did look like a mess right now.

"You know what?" Tony stood up from the chair, stretching out his back with a grunt. "I think you're right— not about the sleep or snack but i've been down here a while: i could do with some coffee." He could tell he was annoying his AI (if JARVIS could even feel such an emotion) but Tony didn't care.

He managed to make it upstairs and to the kitchen without running into any of the other occupants of the Tower, surprisingly. Considering at least 5 other people lived there, he thought it was a good feat. In fact, not seeing anyone worked in Tony's favour since he'd been actively avoiding everyone ever since Peter's funeral 10 hours before. After his fight with Steve and getting slapped with information he didn't want or need, coupled with seeing his son's closed casket get lowered into the ground, Tony had decided he needed some time away from people. Especially from Steve.

He'd holed up in his lab for what felt like an eternity, his mind trying to make sense of the fact that a) the child he'd been raising was fathered by Captain America himself (now that Tony thought about it, he could see some of the clear resemblances between Peter and Steve— like Peter's chin, that was 100% Steve's) and b) said child was now 6 feet under. Both facts still tore him up and stole his breath away.

"Tony?" Pepper's voice broke through the silence just as the man was lifting his freshly-brewed coffee up to his lips. "You're out of the lab."

"Observant," Tony nodded as he swallowed the coffee; it was burning hot but he liked the way his tongue sizzled and the hot beverage made his throat hurt. Pepper was still dressed in her funeral attire, except her dress was now wrinkled and her hair resembled more of a birds nest than her formal bun. Her eyes were still red-rimmed. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you have gone home hours ago?"