Hello, Goodbye

2:51 a.m.

I felt eyes on me. I stayed still thinking nothing of it. Maybe I was wrong, but the feeling didn't go away. It was almost an anxious feeling. I couldn't have been wrong. I know that feeling when someone is looking. What if it's him? Maybe he's looking at me. No. Why would he be looking at me?

Regardless of my thoughts, I looked up at him and sure enough his eyes were on me and they seemed to smile. I instantly panicked. Why was he looking at me? What was there to look at? I quickly looked away. No, why did I look away. You're making things awkward and obvious. Maybe it was just a glance. Yeah. It was just a meaningless glance. Okay, look back his way and act normal.

I couldn't believe it. His eyes remained fixed on me. Only that time his eyes didn't do all of the smiling, his lips grew into a daring smile. And he shared that with me. Something that will forever be engraved in my memory. I might have been wrong all this time, but there was something there. An energy. A connection. But I let it slip through my finger tips. I lost a potential opportunity to make that connection blossom.

I know I made a facial reaction. A terrified expression grew on my face before looking away from him again. I didn't know it at the time, but I realized later that it was a grave mistake. A mistake that I have since regretted. I just didn't know what to do. He made me feel nervous and giddy even, whenever we were acquainted.

It's been about a year since that moment. I haven't seen him since a few times after that. Everyday, I've lived hoping that maybe someday we'll meet again and perhaps rekindle what I originally, unintentionally dismissed.

It was a fast pasted year and other times it feels as if it was a long time ago. And although I still think about him maybe a little too much, he's slowly fading away. I can't remember what he looks like anymore. I'm starting to wonder if he's even real. Maybe I made him up. He is now just a fragment of my imagination.

I think of him knowing he doesn't do the same. He probably wouldn't know that we have met before, if we were to cross paths again. He lives his life without a thought of me as I can't rest my mind off him. And I live pretending that it doesn't bother me at all.

Sincerely, yours.