Paper Airplane - (XueXiao Oneshot)

The Prisoner

Xue Yang pov

In a sorrowful place, the lonely prisoner fell for a person. Through the fence that divided two different worlds, he could see that one person and everytime he does, his heart would beat faster than usual.

All my freedom has been taken away, I was locked away. Maybe because of all the crimes that I have done. I would murder people, slit their throat and bring them to their miserable end, I used to steal anyone's belongings and I also got involved in some fights. Karma is indeed hitting me hard right now, is it?

One day, one person appeared, but he was on the other side of this unescapable fence, I can't reach him. All I can see when I look at him is the big difference, he was an angel and me? Who knows. I want to talk to him but I can not because of this division in between us.

I decided to think of a way to communicate with him and then I remembered that there are a lot of papers that scattered around from where I sleep. I took the chance and wrote a letter then folds it into a paper plane. This is the only way I know, I hope this will fly through the air and reach the other side, reach him.

If only I could get away from this cold and dark place, I wonder if we could get to know each other more? Will he let me be with him? Will he let me hug him? Ah.. I guess it's all a dream. A wish that will never ever come true.

When I see his smiling face everytime, all my worries just disappears. I don't know why but that is what I'm feeling. Was it because I adore him? Or just because he is the representation of what I wanted to be back then? I don't know. 'Please come near, I want to have a decent talk with you, see your face closer and tattoo it on my mind like I'll never want to forget it. Maybe, just maybe, you could see how much this distance hurts me', these are the words that I want say out loud but I can not.. I'm afraid to be rejected. I can only watch him from here, hoping he will turn and look at me. Will I be able to see him again tomorrow? He is the only happiness I have in this cold place.

Days and months had passed. I'm very happy that he was able to talk to me, finally, using those paper airplanes. I treasure every paper planes he sent to me. They were my everything. I embrace each one of them, as I smile like an idiot.

I'm always waiting for him patiently, excited to see his smile again, talk to him again about anything. Until one day, he came to me but more distant than usual. I'm wondering why. Did I say something wrong? Or maybe because he already knew what I have done in the past? I asked him if that is the reason but he answered with a short "No". I asked again. "What did I say that makes you distance yourself some more?". He answered, "You said nothing wrong. I enjoyed talking to you everyday, actually. I just.. Want to say goodbye." My eyes widened. Why is he saying goodbye? It is not like we are not going to see each other again, right? There is no way. And then he said, "I'm sorry. We are not going to see each other again. Never.. Again. I have to go". He turned his back at me and I watched him slowly walk away, I can not move, I want to call him back but I can not utter a word.

Is it raining? No, the sky is clear and the sun is up. Is it tears? I have never cried so much before, no, I actually did not know I can cry. I do not know if I can live with this agony, with this pain that is bursting out. My only reason to live, my one and only rock that I can lean on, left me just like that. Casually told me we will never meet again like it is nothing, walks away and never gave me a glance.

Everytime I see him smile, I can not help but to smile too. He is the only one who made me feel this. This happiness that I have never felt before. He makes me smile despite any sort of faith the future has in store for me. I felt a lot of different emotions I did not know I have.

More days had passed and I still do not even know his name. Will I be able to ask that to him someday? Probably no, because right now, I can not imagine a bright future with him. He already said goodbye and I was left here all alone. I am once again, alone.

I can not call out to him, I can not follow him, I can not get out of here, I can not do anything now.

Another day came. I am waiting for nothing, am I? He will never come back, "We will never see each other again.", he said. I'm still wondering why. Those words, it rips a hole in my heart. It hurts so much.

Finally, it seems that my turn has come. I just have one regret, I did not ask his name. All the times I spent with him, even though there is a barrier that is preventing us to get closer to each other, I will treasure them all in my memories. At those times, I felt happiness in my messed up life that is filled with darkness and loneliness.

My death is at this day, but why does my mind begins to scream? Saying that I want to live some more. If ever I could wish a thing or two, at least I know what I want from this world. I want to see him again, once more, let me see him again. I would wish we could go back to the time where we are happy. All those days suddenly flashes through my mind. Emotions spread out and written into so many words that no one will be able to read.

I once imagined a patch of dirty weeds where a flower bloomed so beautifully, standing out from all. I know we lived in two different worlds, but I still tried to reach out to him.

My heart beats changed as the last moment draws near. 'Can I talk to him one last time?' Here in this dark chamber is where my life will end. 'Can I ask for his name, at least?' My painful screams echoed so loud yet no one else can hear.

There is something that is hurting my chest. 'Please let me talk to him one last time'. I just want to know one simple thing, at least to know his name that I can hide in my memory before I leave.

Since we met, we have spent every single day with each other. I will never forget your smiling face. That deep darkness that engulf us both by pulling us away.

Until tomorrow.. At that place.. With you..