Better

Hi, my name's Jasmine. Yes, like the flower.

And yes, I love flowers - they always reminded me of... well, me. Quite beautiful on the outside, loving the sunshine and... awfully fragile. While looking outside the window during a storm, I could often see the wind make the weaker ones sway wildly and eventually get their stems torn off with ease.

That's how I felt all the time - frail and sometimes absolutely helpless. I couldn't explain why. Maybe I never felt confident in my own body and never trusted any of my decisions and judgement. Whenever I felt insecure, my mom would encourage me by saying, "Never forget that birds always trust their wings and never the branch they're on."

On the other side, my dad would tell me, "As long as you fight, you have a chance."

They were wonderful people, my parents. I truly couldn't comprehend why life treated them so unjustly. We lived in Shiganshina in a rather poor part of the district and our plates were almost never full. They were working extremely hard and I tried my best to be anything but a burden to them.

My best friend, Annie, was... well, another problem of mine. She would often get us in trouble by stealing something and saying things that would trigger the bullies on the streets. This would result in a chase - me and Annie would literally run for our lives. She would often escape from them successfully while I... well, the bullies would get me and you know how this goes.

I never liked coming back home with bruises, but I couldn't hide them either. This would make my parents extremely worried and sad. I hated seeing them like this. Yet, I couldn't do a thing, really.

One day, I was wandering around the marketplace with Annie when we suddenly heard someone call our names. We turned around and saw a group of five boys, a little but older and a lot larger than us coming our direction. Yep, you got it right - bullies.

We started running AGAIN but somehow I managed to stumble over the strap of my sandal and fell on the ground. I skinned both of my knees and it hurt like hell. Annie successfully escaped again and I... successfully fell into their trap.

"Well, well, well," began one of them. "We've got a little rat that needs a good beating, everyone."

I couldn't imagine how my parents would react to what they'd see after my encounter with the bullies. How many bruised would they be treating this time? I covered my face and laid on the ground. I tried to protect my body by going into fetal position.

"Hey!" I heard someone shout. "Why don't you fight someone your own size?!"

The bullies' faces immediately turned pale.

"It's Mikasa! Run!" they screamed and started running as fast as they possibly could.

I couldn't believe it. Someone actually came to rescue me? But why?

"Are you alright?" she asked while picking me up from the ground. "Oh, damn, you ruined your modelling career!"

She took a napkin out of her bag and started cleaning the blood from my knees. 

"W-w-why did you save me? You don't owe me anything," I asked. I was really shocked. Nobody had ever tried to stop the bullies from harming me before. 

"Do I need to owe you anything in order to help you?" she asked.

I smiled. She was right.

"No, you don't. By the way, my name's Jasmine."

"Mikasa Ackerman, nice to meet you!" she smiled.

* * *

Weeks had passed since I made a new friend. I stopped talking to Annie. I realized she was nothing more than just pure trouble. Also, I couldn't bare the look on my parents' faces whenever they saw me injured anymore. I was done.

Me and Mikasa had grown quite close. We started hanging out a lot. She introduced me to two of her friends, Armin and Eren, who were as nice to me as she was. The four of us would often go to the nearby river and spend hours on end lying on the bank and looking at the clear blue sky with its fluffy clouds. Life looked amazingly simple with good friends by my side.

One day me and Mikasa were taking a walk when I asked her, "Why were those bullies so afraid of you back then?"

She smiled.

"Because they knew what I was capable of."

I sighed. I admired her so much and wanted to be just like Mikasa - strong and confident, always aware of her surroundings, never doubting her feet nor decisions.

"Can you teach me? I-I-I mean can you help me become strong? Just like you?"

She nodded. I couldn't believe it. Mikasa Ackerman was going to teach me everything she knew. I could finally become my own best version. My parents would no longer fear for me... I hoped.

We spent multiple days training hard. Eren and Armin would often join us, too. They'd help me by teaching me certain fighting techniques they were particularly good at. And Mikasa... She not only showed me everything she'd ever known in her life, but she'd constantly encourage me and tell me her own point of view when it came to being insecure.

"You know, sometimes I think that there are people who are born special and who are destined to be extraordinary. Just like you and Eren," I commented one day. "I can see it with my own eyes. One day you'll become the world's greatest warriors. And then there's me."

My eyes started watering. The feeling of being absolutely useless and incapable of achieving anything started flooding me.

"What about you?" she asked patiently.

"Well, I'm just normal. And normal people never achieve anything, really. I'll end up trying to make ends meet just like my parents. This makes me very discouraged. As if I'm just another mistake in this world."

Mikasa laughed out loud. I got confused. Did I say something funny? I was really opening up to her and felt as if I had made a mistake.

"Nobody's a mistake in this world. Do you've any idea how rare life is and what the odds are of being alive? You're special just by breathing. You're special to your parents, you're special to me and most importantly, you're special to you. Never forget that. You should always treat yourself kindly, because the world won't always do it for you."

I couldn't say a thing. Why hadn't I ever thought about this before? My whole life I tried to convince myself that I'm useless, incapable, weak. And yet, I never was.

Mikasa was kind enough to help me realize this, but she's not my hero. I am. And I always will be. By being strong like her, I can help others who are just like me become their own saviors.

I can do this and they can, too.

And I won't let myself be my own bully anymore. Ever again.

So, bullies, why not try to confront me once more, eh?