fragile

one

Riley pov

'how do you feel today Riley?'

Waves and waves crashing against the rocks where i stand, threatening to clash and pull me under and eat me whole,like any minute i can drown and be forgotten, scared to be happy incase the sharks come back and make me remember what it's like to be alone,any minute ready to fall and drown like broken glass getting picked back up cutting you with its sharp edges.

"I'm fine" I just say not bothering to say how i really feel,it could make this conversation go worse,I'll be back in the white dull rooms alone with my thoughts once again.

"Okay how would you feel about going home?" She says and my heart beating fast, hands getting sticky from the sweat my body's producing,every time she mentions the word 'home'

"Ok" my words coming out without thinking. She smiles bigger then the time i went 3 days of being perky before the darkness came back.
"Okay wonderful, your mother will be collecting you tomorrow afternoon" amazing.

I walked back to my room gathering my thoughts and processing what just happened and how the hell I'm actually going back home, I can't go back my mum wouldn't be able to deal with me again hence why i was here in the first place, what is she thinking?
"Girllll your going home!!" Alexa came rushing in my room dancing around,Alexa is my younger friend,she was the first person who i met here. She knows me,well most of me.
I faked a smile showing i was half excited. Not that i was.

"Girl--" she calms down sitting on the edge of my bed, "arnt you excited?" Hmm. How do I say yes without lying. "Yh, I'm just going to miss you silly" well it's not all lies. She smiled and came crashing me into a tight hug. "That's what phones are for riri" I guess it is.

•

The next morning came and my heart couldn't be beating any more fast then what it was right now, I was already up from the dusk of dawn, being anxious is hardly something to brag about.

"Go grab some breakfast dear you look so pale!" The nurse said coming in to do the normal check ups. Just incase  none of us has killed our selfs. "I'm fine " I lie and double checking I have everything in my bags. She sighed and left the room leaving me again with my thoughts.

The after noon came rather quickly then expected. Me standing outside the waiting area where my mother was. Alexa came storming down the halls with tears gushing out her eyes. I feel so bad for just leaving her like this. Not that i had a choice in the matter. "Riri " she cried crashing into me with a hug. "I'm gonna miss you so much" I lightly smiled and hugged her back,trying not to cry myself.

"Riley, this way please." I followed behind waving off alexa, " your mum will be right with you she's just filling some forms up and then you can go home" she smiled. I rolled my eyes and sat on the seats.

"Lets go" she says my heart speeding up every second. I got up and walked with her. Once we got outside I got pushed away with the cold winter wind,how amazing it felt to be winded again. Cold breeze letting me float away.
"It kills me to see you like this riley,it does but I can't help you you know that, that's why I got you these" she smally says handing me a white envelope, I opened it up to receive a ticket to a small town in new jersy, and a buck load of cash. I looked at her with sadness in my eyes, how can she just throw me away like that. "I'm sorry riley,I want you to be happy,your not gonna get that if your with me again, I love you Riley I do."

Just like that my mother left. Leaving me standing here with my bags and a ticket to a random city.

"Yh mum love you too ....." I whispered looking at the ticket and money in holding in my white numb hands.

" need a ride riley? " I look up and Charlie is there with a coffee in hand in the front seat of the car. I looked around and cursed. Like this couldn't get more shitty with my ex driving me to a foreign country....

"Yh"