Chapter 3: Think Of It Like An Army

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There was a burger in one hand and a disposable phone in the other. Taehyung was holding them in front of himself as if weighing them, considering his current options. Right now he had to do one or the other, and he was torn between choosing which. Seated on the sidewalk, legs cocked up in front of him so that his suit trousers had hitched up to show his ankles, he could feel that he was attracting a lot of attention. It was certainly warranted but he couldn't sit inside the food joint because it was too risky. Too many chances of being overheard. That might just be paranoia kicking in, he didn't know. All he did know was that it had been just a day and he couldn't risk fucking up already. Being caught blabbering to the department with grease all over his mouth whilst a dealer sat two tables away staring right at him; Taehyung knew that if anyone would fuck up such an elementary mistake it would be him. That was why he was sitting on the curb beside the gutter like a destitute being stared at by everyone that went past.

After leaving the meeting yesterday he had been ordered into a small room for the time being. That was where he was to stay until further notice, the building fulfilling its true purpose as a boarding house. The room had been nothing more than that of a shitty motel room but he hadn't cared at all. It had been somewhere to hide away for the rest of the day, to get his mind sorted and to figure out a plan of sorts. The first thing that he had done when he had left the building this morning had been to hit the unfamiliar streets of Mapo-gu. He had needed to locate two things, a convenience store and a fast food joint. He had needed to get his hand on a cheap disposable phone, a throwaway that could be used once and tossed like a condom. The costs of said phones would be covered by the department but they hardly cost a thing. So he had bought one and had went to get some food, and now it was time to for the plan to kick into action.

Yet Taehyung was too scared to do so, too paranoid. There was shit that he had to report but he didn't know what to say, how to say it.

Taehyung lowered the phone onto his lap for a moment before unwrapping the burger so that he could take a bite. It was so hot in his mouth that it burnt and he tasted salty and fried meat on his tongue. He didn't even think about having a nutritious breakfast right now. What he wanted wasn't healthy and pleasing, but rather hot and and packed with enough sugars and fat to make him feel full. What better choice at hand than a fried slab of meat slathered in cheese and sauces and salad; a veritable walking coronary? The kind of meal that Namjoon would tell him would clog his arteries if he just sat behind a desk all day. But he didn't care about that shit right now. After spending the entire afternoon and evening hours of yesterday too nervous to possibly eat his stomach was hollow and aching under his ribs. It had been too hard to eat when all he had been able to think about was what had happened in the meeting. Just the thought had been enough to make his stomach jittery, feel all loose and slippery as if it would slide all the way up into mouth.

Fuck health, he was living on borrowed time right now. If he was going to fuck up and be strangled to death then he thought that a single cheeseburger for breakfast meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.

He had vomited several times yesterday even when his stomach had been empty, bringing up nothing more than burning and foul-tasting bile that made his eyes and nose sting. As a result Taehyung had woken up on the bathroom floor this morning, cold with an aching head and stomach. His hair had been sweat-clumped and his shirt had been damp, clinging to his skin disgustingly. Cleaning up in the small shower cubicle had been a blessing, even when it had meant the heat had made him feel woozy and weak. Then he had gotten dressed from the small holdall bag that Lim had suggested he should bring with him. Taehyung wasn't stupid. He knew that the bag had been searched thoroughly whilst he had been made to stand out in the courtyard like cattle at an auction. It would have been checked for anything that could become a weapon, that could be a sign that he wasn't who he had said that he was. Whoever would have checked would have found nothing more than pressed shirts and trousers, rolled up bundles of socks and underwear, and a small ziplock bag of toiletries. Taehyung didn't know how long he was supposed to stay in this boarding house for, with the rest of the recruits. All he knew was that he was here to stay unless someone took an interest and pulled him out.

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