how we were ✰ 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 ¹

five

"we are made of all those who have built and broken us."
— atticus

words were something that came easy to richie tozier. he understood their meanings—their complexities—better than he understood anyone or anything else in his life. yet, words held a lot of power. a simple slip of the tongue had to power to destroy someone and fuck, one day words would be the thing that tore him apart. richie just hoped that they would be able to put him back together just as easily.

and so richie wrote. he wrote thousands of letters penned to no one. penned to people who wouldn't answer. they were barely coherent scribbles, they were complex layouts of emotion. yet nobody knew about them. he never read them. he sealed them away in bare envelopes with nothing but a smudged date in the top right corner. tucked away on the preserved pages was richie's sloppy signature, "always, richie."

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

beverly marsh was one of the few people richie loved, while also being one of the few people that seemed to trip him at every turn. she had called him at home—late—as to avoid the possibility of mr. tozier answering the phone—and requested that he accompany her to the quarry the following afternoon. richie was hesitant, insisting as best he could over the static line that, "—they won't be there right?" followed by beverly's response of, "—unless you want to invite them." richie didn't invite them, but of course, they were there.

richie had taken his bike up to through the winding path, basically breathless upon arrival when he spotted them. my best friend's girl had been humming softly through his walkman when he pulled the headphones down around his neck. the group was gathered around in a circle facing one another, but immediately glanced over at him, different measures of judgment written across their features. it took him all of two seconds to pull his bike off of the ground—unceremoniously yanking his headphones back up to cover his ears—and preparing to mount it again before bev came running up to him, pleading that he stay and promising she would make it up to him later. richie had sighed, because as everyone knew, you couldn't say no to beverly marsh.

the losers' incessant chatter dimmed a bit when bev returned, richie's hand clasped tightly in her own and pulling him forward with renewed vigor. her grin was contagious, showing off her beautifully crooked teeth and the freckles that danced across her cheeks—richie noted that the others seemed to relax in her presence. "hey guys," she came to a stop pulled richie beside her, hand moving up to hold his arm and prevent him from slinking away, "you remember richie."

stan was the first to react, rolling his eyes and huffing, "how could we forget?" richie wanted to shrink away behind beverly—shade himself from the disgust entangled in those words—but instead, glared at the boy and bit the inside of his cheek to steady his rapidly beating heart. beverly mimicked stan's action and rolled her eyes, lips parted in preparation to defend richie when ben spoke first, "hey, rich!" but that was ben hanscom, too good to everyone, even people who didn't deserve his kindness.

he moved forward to clasp richie's free arm and launched into excited chatter. "dude you've got to see how my stomach has been healing, it looks like it's going to scar, isn't that badass—" richie wasn't really listening, just watched ben pull up the front of his shirt to reveal a mediocrely bandaged wound across his skin. a pang of guilt lanced through richie and he had to bite down on the inside of his cheek until he tasted iron to prevent himself from clawing his way out of beverly's grasp.

"thank god you were there, though," richie's head snapped up at the confession, his eyes wide with surprise, "otherwise, i'd have his whole name on me. now, i can just pretend it's a secret admirer." ben's eyes were shining and his face was scrunched up with the smile that pulled up the corner of his too-small eyes. richie knew ben was trying to make him feel at home with them, it wasn't his fault that the others didn't feel the same way.