𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛[2]

i woke up in the middle of the night after hearing a noise. i grabbed my phone and unlocked it.

i kept thinking about flora's brother for some reason too. his name is miles? something like that.

but i kinda enjoyed being around him, only if it was a few minutes. he seemed really nice.

soon i actually got tired from thinking about him so much. i finally fell asleep after that.

flora woke me up. she told me that miles and her were going to play something and that i could go with them.

“uh, sure, let me go get changed.” i replied. she smiled and walked out so i could change.

i put on some casual clothes, and put on my flannel and shoes before walking out.

“hey, you look nice.” miles said examining me. i blushed and turned away nervously.

ughh, he doesn't like me.. he's just a flirt. i can't make the same mistake i did with jack... i started breathing heavier as i remembered him.

“are you okay?” miles asked me. i nodded and said, “yeah, i'll be right back.” i quickly ran somewhere i could be alone for a bit.

i wiped the tears that fell down my cheeks. i loved him but he.. i don't even want to think about him right now.

it was christmas eve. i sat by the fire warming up. the tree was a distance away, nicely decorated. it was a white, decorated with fake snow and ornaments. it has some plain, non-colorful lights.

jack sat next to me. he was wearing a plain, black turtleneck and some jeans. his arm was wrapped around me. i loved him. “y/n, wanna open a present?” he asked. i smiled and nodded. he grabbed my hand, pulling me over to the tree.

he pulled out a box wrapped up in a golden color christmas wrap. i hummed to the music playing in the background. he handed me the box and i grabbed it. “wanna choose mine?” he asked. “sure i said looking at his presents.” i grabbed one that was wrapped in a silver color with red lines crossing through it.

“okay, we open them on three.” he said. “3..” he counted down slowly. “2.. 1..” we both unwrapped the presents. i quickly opened the box. there was a pair of earrings. the ones me and jack saw at a store before. “oh my god jack, these were so expensive, how'd you get them?”

he sighed and said, “i saved up all i had because i knew how much you liked them.” “jack i-” i began to say.
“y/n, it's okay, i'd do anything for you.” he said smiling. i hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss.

tears kept flowing down my cheeks. i still had them. i hate everybody, it's jack's fault. he caused all of this. i could never hate jack, i'd always love him no matter what.

i looked up and realized miles was standing there. “what the fuck?” i said. “sorry, are you okay? what's wrong?” he asked. ugh, he reminded me of jack too much. “im okay..” i said.

“are you sure? because right now, it totally doesn't look like you've been crying and have a bloody nose.” i wiped my hand across my face and sure enough, there was blood.

“y/n, you're really cool and i want to be your friend but i hate a feeling you don't like me.” he said. i quickly got up and started to walk away. “this is exactly what i mean.” he said.

“miles, i like you but right now, i have to call someone.” i ran away from him and pulled my phone out of my pocket. i dialed his number and let the phone ring. “hello?” i heard him say.

“uhh, hey, it's y/n.” i said nervously biting my lip. “oh, y/n, what's going on?” he asked. “nothing really, i just wanted to talk to you.” i said.

“y/n, you better not be calling me to tell me you finally love me the way i love you because i have a girlfriend now.” he said. “ugh, wyatt that's not what i called you for.” i said.

“then why did you call?” he asked sounding annoyed. i stayed silent as i felt that one, small sentence hurt me. i hung up and put my phone in my pocket.

im obviously incapable of having friends. jack was the only one there for me when i would feel this way, empty inside, dead, just so sad i couldn't feel anything. i missed him so fucking much.

i sat there noticing how fucked up my life was. i pushed away everyone who cared about me and my mom, doesn't even like me. she's abusive but i've never told anyone. she'll tell at me for any little thing i do.

im used to pain but words always hurt. cuts and bruises go away but words, you can remember forever. they can hurt you so much and the people who say things don't even realize how hurt you are, how much they've hurt you.

there, i've said it. i pushed jack away, i pushed miles away and now im left alone.. alone forever..