Truth Hurts

Too Little, Too Late

As I trudge through the woods, thoughts swarm my brain like flies. Every second of every day, the only company I have is the things I create in my own head. I walk alone in steady silence, trying to find a destination. I don't know where I am or where I'm going but I do know what I'm looking for, a sanctuary, a safe place, anything with four walls that will separate me from the outside world. I need a barrier from the reality that is now my life.

The people I've had to say goodbye to are plentiful in amount. Right now they're just a reflection I can't quite grasp. The dark thoughts that fill my brain only stop me from functioning, and right now all I can do is push them away. The idea that everything once meaningful to me is gone still remains hard to grasp. Every day I try to accept it, but I end up failing miserably. I find some secluded spot in the woods and weep for what feels like hours. My first few weeks were filled with that, but now it has been months. How many? I've lost track. I stopped counting a long time ago. All I focus on is today and living till tomorrow. Some nights I don't sleep. Some nights I pass out with exhaustion. I wake up surprised I'm still alive and wonder, what evil power would trap me on this earth without anything or anyone to love? If there is a God, what sick plan is this? I have no idea what to believe in anymore or where to turn to, but all I know is I can't focus on that.

As I walk through the dense trees I notice them getting seldom and know there must be a clearing up ahead somewhere. The grass is high, almost up to my knees, and the dirt beneath my boots sinks slightly from the recent rain. Once I sludge through the bundles of nature, I find, to my surprise, a small house. It sits on the edge of a long road that curves into the distance. It resembles something like a cottage, but the only question that runs through my head involves people. Who's there? Does danger lurk? I have nothing left to lose, so I walk slowly towards the building and rise the four steps attentively.

The door is slightly cracked, and as I peer in I notice two shapes moving. It's not the quick blurs that startle me after, but the groans that come out the door. This isn't the first time I've encountered the zombielike creatures, but every encounter makes me weary.

I test the door and slowly move it, trying not to make a sound. What I see makes me want to look away immediately, but my courage has grown over these past few months. I watch as the grotesque monster strips away piece by piece of a young girl. She looks to be in her late twenties from the remains left of her. Every other detail of this woman is covered by the blood. It covers everything left. The salty smell overwhelms my senses and I start to feel faint. Her inner intestines extend from her body as the zombie takes more and more of her, piece by piece.

I stand my ground and slowly retreat. I know I could just stab the monster until it becomes motionless, but there's no telling who would win. I hesitate leaving but know I don't want to start more trouble than I can ward off. There's no chance saving the poor woman. I leave the lost cause displayed across the wooden floor and continue my exploring for some piece of civilization.

I cross the road where the house sits and explore the other expanse of woodland. I know I should have fought for my spot, but even after all this time, I still become frightened of dying. After losing everything, anyone might think the aspect would seem less intimidating, but my human instincts keep me from causing trouble. I still want to live and breathe, hoping one day I'll find something worth living for.

While I explore I think of the disembodied woman on the cabin floor. I know she must have been alive recently. The blood and the body looked fresh. Zombies always prefer the fresh kill even though I have seen them resort to animals and other dead, sulking monsters.

This gives me a sudden sense of hope that maybe she wasn't alone. Maybe there was someone else nearby. She could easily be alone like I am, but I know the possibilities are endless. I keep exploring, perking my ears to every slight sound I hear, keeping aware of the monsters and other living beings that I might encounter.