Chasing Sofia

Chapter 20 - Mourning

Adrian

“Oh, Adrian,” she cries, throwing herself around me. She sobs into my chest and tremors rack her body as I mourn the death of my parents for a second time.

I don’t know how long we stay like this, but I can tell time has passed. My eyes are wet, my throat is dry, and the pain in my chest is almost unbearable.

Sofia finally looks at me and I wish she hadn’t. Her eyes are red and puffy and her expression is so miserable and full of sorrow I know I just broke her heart. I promised myself I would never do that to her but I’ve managed to do it anyway. I just never imagined it would be in this manner, but I’ve done it nonetheless and I feel terrible even though I know it’s not my fault.

“I’m so sorry, Adrian,” she says and falls into another fit of tears.

I don’t know what to do to stop her pain, but I almost feel that she needs this. She never lets out her emotions and I’ve certainly never seen her cry like this in my life. She’s crying for my parents and she’s crying for me, and she doesn’t even know half of it yet. It’s probably one of the worst things I’ve ever witnessed, but I have to see it through. So as much as it kills me, I wait until she’s able to compose herself again.

“How?” she whispers.

I clear my throat, desperately needing water. “In a car accident. It was really a robbery in a parking lot and they tried to get away but crashed and didn’t make it.”

Her jaw falls open. The same way mine did when I found out these types of things actually do happen. “Did they catch him?”

I shake my head. “They were able to get the footage, but no. He was wearing a Cubs baseball cap, but that’s the only thing they were able to distinguish and there weren’t any witnesses.”

“So this happened in Chicago?”

“Yeah, they were traveling at the time. I was supposed to go with them but I didn’t. I had my ticket and everything. But I told them I didn’t want to go and I um … I went to London instead.”

“What? Adrian …” she says looking at me in horror. I see her put the timeline together and she covers her mouth as fresh tears streak down her face.

“Are you saying that if you hadn’t … you would’ve …” she stops talking and hugs me again.

“I guess we’ll never really know. A lot of different things could’ve happened, but yeah, it’s something I think about all the time. I found out the day I came back to Madrid from London after I went looking for you.”

“Adrian, I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Believe me, there were times I thought it would have been easier if I had just gone with them. I lost them and I had lost you and for the longest time I didn’t think there was anything left for me.”

“God, Adrian. Please don’t say that. Is that why my parents didn’t want me to know?”

“Yeah. They found out I had gone to London after you and they thought it would be best if you didn’t know. You weren’t here and they said you had your own things going on and I wasn’t in the best shape either, so I think at the time it was the best decision.”

“I wish I had known. I wish I could have been there for you,” she says regretfully.

“You’re here now and that’s more important,” I tell her, running my fingers through her hair. Sometimes I have to say it out loud and feel her to remind me that it’s true.