Love Marks

Al-Ateen

"We welcome you to the Al-Ateen Family Group and hope you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy," Frankie announces, as her discolored hair falls onto her face. "We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Ateen we discover that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not." I suppose you could consider this to be a therapy group, however, it just seems to be a circle of children affected by alcoholism that can no longer feel, or feel too much. Each and every Monday, including holidays, this group gathers. Three of the 10 teens attend every week, the other seven come and go as they please.
"As we go around the room, please state your first name, how you are feeling, a good thing that happened to you this week, a not so good thing that happened to you this week, and something you're grateful for. As a reminder, please keep it simple." The chairperson, typically Frankie, always begins. "Hi, I'm Frankie." The words slither out of her mouth; she is robotic as she goes on with the rest of what she has to say. As other people share, I tend to zone out due to the fact I have been attending this group for almost 6 years and I know every story that comes in and out of these walls. Frankie has had a rough life, however, similar to everyone else in this group, it revolves around alcohol. She constantly reminds the group on how her father has recently relapsed, and how difficult it is to cope almost as though she does not realize the world around her, and the multiple other people are going through similar situations.
The stories in this group range from a pet dying, to a young girl suffering from sexual abuse. There is no judgment of the sorrow one feels, and each story is equally important within this program. As I am zoning out, I quickly realize each set of hollow eyes are staring at me. Assuming it is my turn to speak, I quickly state, "Hi, I'm Luna." I tend to get nervous when I speak, one would think I wouldn't after these years put into this group. "A good thing... Uh... I don't really know." I rarely have something good to say, unless my mind is in a vulnerable state. "A bad thing that happened to me this week; I had picture day." I have no problem stating the bad in my life; however, the good is difficult to allow come out of my mouth. My soul is dirty, so why would I deserve anything better than the worst? "Something I am grateful for... My dog, Tobi." No one in the room is entirely surprised; once again I truly did not open myself up to the help I could get within this group. I kept it short, and I kept it simple. How ironic, one of the main slogans is "Keep it Simple."
It is frightening to most people that these meetings typically take place in an old worn down church basement. The Al-Ateen group does now have any source of money, other than what the adults' gift out of pity. Each chair has a distinct creak, faded blue in coloring, and rust covers nearly every inch of metal. The only advantage to meeting in this church basement is it keeps young kids away. Young kids typically cause commotion and annoy everyone within the group, so without them there is less stress.
Each week is a different topic; however, I only tend to speak during the third week of the month, the "Dark meeting." This dark meeting is a regular meeting, with the lights off. I dont know why, but it gives me a sense of security to know that no other eyes can see me as I speak, rubbing and bend each finger, playing with the dead ends of my hair, or simply watching my foot vibrate out of feeling. Most people don't share during this meeting, but I cannot completely understand why. I have a hard time understanding that some people are happy with the way the look, the way they feel, and the way they present themselves. I typically do not show my emotions, but my internal organs are turning out of pure bliss that is a dark meeting. For once in my life, I am in need of getting something off my chest that is absolutely destroying my innersoul.