Has Been Adopted By Nightwing2 Or KirkBones177 On AO3

chapter 5 - Let There Be Hope

                   ~Third Person Pov~

  It has been a few days since Matthew decided to try to be a better big brother and help Alfred, which is were we are now. Alfred has been staying at his Canadian brother’s house after the last meeting. How he got the damaged nation to stay, we may never know. Matthew has been keeping a close eye on him since then, gathering some suspicions that he hopes aren’t true. Right now the other nation is watching TV. while kumajiro is in the kitchen snacking on a nice, juicy salmon.

  He flips through the channels, deciding on the local hockey game and Matthew looks back up the stairs where Alfred’s room is, the broken nation has been avoiding the other since he got here and staying in his room, only coming out to get something to drink or to the bathroom. Matthew noticed his little brother hasn’t eaten much., unless he was gently encouraged, though it didn’t seem to help. He decided to go and check up on Alfred, a feeling of worry looming over him and the Canadian gets up, heading to his room up the stairs.

  The feeling of worry started to weigh heavy on his shoulders as he got nearer. Matthew hesitates as he stands in front of the other’s door, sure he was worried but he didn’t want to smother his fragile brother and push him away, making things worse. After a few minutes of building courage, he knocks and holds his breathe,

“Alfred? Are you awake?” There was no answer, so Matthew knocked a bit harder and the depressed nation answered in a quiet voice,

“Please leave me alone.” He sighed, leaning his head against the door while his fist is still against the door and tries to find the right words,

“I know...I know you are hurting and I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve protected you, be the big brother I should’ve been. I know I failed you and don’t deserve a second chance but please give me another, a chance to fix this. A chance to be the big brother should’ve been.” There was a long pause of silence until Matthew hears some shuffling from the other side of the door, the lock clicking and it opens slightly, an arm jutting out for his big brother to hold his hand. He smiles, sitting down next to the door and holds his hand, squeezing it gently. After a while of this Matthew decided to make lunch for the both of them, letting go then getting up and stretching his sore limbs,

“I’m going to make some lunch, Alfie. Want anything specific?” Another silent pause, short this time, then Alfred’s quiet voice floats through the door,

“I’m not hungry, you can eat without me.” He sighed, giving the nation behind the slightly open door a worried look,

“Come on, Alfie. You have to eat something.” On the other side, Alfred is at war with himself. He fights himself over eating, on one end he doesn’t want to eat because he thinks he doesn’t deserve to and fears of getting more obese, even though he is actually a skeleton under his clothes. On the other end he wants to give in just so his brother will get off his back, but throwing it all up afterwards. He did(n’t) need all those extra calories. After debating this for a bit, while his brother is cooking downstairs, Alfred decided he will have only a few bites of lunch then throw it back up. He stands up from his spot next to the door, also deciding to shower since it has been a while. He heads to his connected bathroom, one steaming hot shower and scrubbing his skin red and raw later, he finally gets out. Ignoring brushing his teeth and hair. Alfred walks slowly to the kitchen, already regretting this and he wondered if he could just lock himself back in his room but it was too late, he was already in the kitchen. He blinked, snapping himself out of the stupor he was in, ‘I must’ve been so lost in my thoughts I didn’t realize my body was moving on it’s own to the kitchen. Oh well..’ .

  Alfred sighs, sitting in a chair next to the island and just as he sat down Matthew turns around with a plate piled high with different types of sandwiches, which he places in front of them and smiles, surprised, then divided them up between them on different plates,

“I’m glad you decided to eat with me and took a shower too.” He stares at the plate apprehensively, picking up a sandwich and slowly takes a small bite, already feeling his stomach turn. That makes the Canadian smile, he sits down and he eats his own share of food. They ate in silence, Matthew taking the plates once most of then ate gone which he mostly ate and Alfred only had a few tiny bites. Once his big brother was distracted, Alfred snuck up to his room and back into his bathroom, locking the door behind him. He kneels near the toilet with the lid up, pushing his fingers down his throat without hesitation and throwing up the little food he had until there was just bile and a little bit of blood.

  Suddenly the door was busted open, a very concerned Canadian comes in quickly and drops to his knees next to the vomiting nation, holding him close, “This is all my fault, I should’ve done more for you. This is so much worse, I’m so sorry.” Alfred squirms in the other’s hold, shaking his head,

“No, no not your fault. I’m a stupid, lazy fatass. I deserve all of this.” Matthew started to sob, now rocking the other nation and mumbles out,

“No, that’s wrong. I love you so much and I’m sorry for not seeing this sooner. I swear I will help, so please. Please let me help you.” Alfred starts to cry too, the mask finally breaking away after all the hits it took and he clings to his brother, whimpering loudly. Many tears were shed, they stayed like this until dinnertime and the traumatized nation’s stomach rumbles, ruining the moment, both of them laughing.

  Matthew cooked dinner, while Alfred watches with a small smile and chatting once in a while. There finally was a comforting lull in the house after a long while of tense, gloomy atmosphere but this will not be an easy road for them and there might not be an exact happy ending for them. Hopefully they can make it work until there ‘happy ending’ comes.
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  This is another chapter done, I hope you all like it. I know this took longer than you guys expected and it was because of this quarantine funk, also because I got too caught up in the new book cover But don’t worry guys. I am taking a break from the new book cover so I can focus more on my writing. I hope you all have a wonderful day, stay safe and please stay tuned for more or read my other stories. Critiques are always welcome, not don’t be rude.