Garrett 1:1
"For they who Simp, shall live a lavish Minecraft life with walls made of furnaces and trees full of bees."
Thou who not know of thy Simp, knoweth nothing. Thou that shareth thy Simpin shall be casted away to the land of the Normies.
Garrett; thy first Simp, thy King of Simp, Thee man of men. The almighty Saviour of Simp who blessed us all with the power of Simpin.
On the first day, Garrett was born into a world of anti-Simp.
He rised so that we may all live peacefully for Simps and Simpin alike. As He rose, we rose. Before all the Simps and the Simpers, men and women were humble, stayed in their lane, saved their money and lived a boring life.
But Garrett was not thy only Simp. Garrett was only one of many Simps.............
Garrett 2:2
"In the vast desert there was a throne, on that throne a woman sat with a blinding aura..."
As Garrett was birthed, he found a woman sitting in a throne, surrounded by Twitch bits and men.
Garrett fell to his knees and exclaimed his love,
"OH THY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, HAVE THOU BEEN SAVED TODAY?"
The woman ignores...
Maybe she didn't hear him...maybe...she wasn't looking. Garrett gets up from his knees and waves his arms up and down.
"M'LADY, HAVE YOU BEEN SAVED TODAY?"
To no prevail, Garrett grows tired of waving his arms. He begins to look at whats surrounding the woman. The bits, the men...how will he ever get her attention?
Garrett takes out his wallet and looks in it, there's nothing there. He shakes his wallet and out fell 4 quarters and a dime. He picks them up and thought for a moment, then began scrambling and rummaging around in determination.
He stops and opens his hand. 1 single Bit lying there, beaming in his eyes as if it was the first day of summer.
Garrett immediately throws the bit near the woman and screams
"HAVE YOU BEEN SAVED TODAY?"
All of a sudden, the woman looks directly at Garrett
"Thank-you GarrettWestleyThomas for thy 1 bit. Um, no actually...I have not been saved today."
The woman turns away from Garrett
This was okay because Garrett then knew what he had to do...
YOU ARE READING
The Simp Bible
Ficción históricaThe Simp Bible is a non-religious group, more like a cult, where the prophecies of simps are shared so that human beings may understand and form a relationship with simpin.
