Anywhere But Here

Chapter 5

As soon as I heard those words leave his mouth, it became harder for me to breathe.

I want to disappear.

Zayn stood there just staring at me, but I was looking at my fingers.

"Hey... Can I see them...." I look up at him and his face looked emotionless, I look back down at my thumbs.

Then again I was never good at reading emotions.

"Please..." He begs.

I don't want to show him. I just want to disappear. I want to runaway. I just don't want to be in this position. It feels so... Overwhelming.

A tear slides down my cheek and I think he notices because he walks over to my bed and sits in front of me.

"Hey..." He says, calmly and quietly, so only I could hear him.

He lifts up my chin, but I don't make eye contact.

I really just want to leave. I want to disappears even more now.

I don't want to go to the therapist. I don't want them to put me in a mental institute.

I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy.

I am feeling so scared. So worried. So... Vulnerable.

"Don't cry. Please?" He says softly, and I shut my eyes, letting an involuntary sob escape my lips.

My breathing is getting a bit worse now.

I know I should get my inhaler, but I'm trying to practice living with out it, that way I won't have a problem in the future, but right now, I really need it.

"P-please, get my i-inhaler." I struggle to say, clutching my bed sheets.

His eyes widen, realizing my breathing patterns and what I said, he put two and two together.

He quickly walked over to one of my suitcases, and looked at me as if to say 'is it this the one?' But I shook my head.

I pointed to the smaller bookbag I had and he walked over to it. He finally found my inhaler and gave it to me.

I quickly took three puffs, and slowly, I was breathing normally again.

Zayn was still here. Looking at me.

"What?" I snap.

"Nothing, you just didn't answer my question." My eyes widen, a bit.

"I-I don't know what your talking about." I lie stupidly.

I never really was a good liar. I get worried under the pressure.

"Clearly you do since you just had a panic attack about it." He says, rolling his eyes as if the panic attack I had wasn't a big deal.

I didn't say anything.

"Let me see them. All of them." He says, firmly.

"N-no." I stutter, still recovering from my panic attack.

"So, your admitting that you do have them." He smirks, as he got me.

I sighed.

"I didn't admit anything." I tell him.

"I want to see them. Please?" He asks, and I just shake my head.

"Alright, well I'm taking you to a therapist." My eyes widen at this.

"No!" I say a bit too quickly.

"Then show me." His tone a bit rough and annoyed.

I become angry, but I don't give in.