Sarada Random Stuffs

Suicide

Author's note:
In memory of my bestfriend who died of suicide, April 20, 2017

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

You said your pain was deep.
And it's been days that you can't sleep.
You cried with a liter of tears.
For your heart had a ton of fears

I told you to stop worrying.
Just go to God and start praying.
Things happen for a reason.
Suffering is just but for a season.

You ask, "who is God that I go to him when I'm weary?"
You said you are not religious and an agnostic

I ask you "what's that?. It's not in my vocabulary."
I said I am religious and dogmatic.

"Agnostic are people who are unwilling to know nor believe God exist." You explained and even illustrated

I get it. I have learned a new word on that day. But I was frustrated.

You confided you hated a lot of things:

You hated your brother who is a drug addict.
Now he's in prison and is a convict.

You hated your mom who was sick and dying.
You're tired of watching her slowly fading.

You hated your dad who treated you like you were nobody.
He was busy with his god that is money.

You hated you boyfriend who used you like your just a fling.
He was your life then and you gave him everything.

You hated the doctor who diagnosed you had a mental disease.
You're angry with your life you want it to cease.

I chided you and showed you that your life was beautiful.
I showed you things that you should be grateful.

You're a born genius.
No need to be studios.
You're beautiful and flawless without a scar.
You're rich and drive your own car.
You have a lot of potential.
Your friends find you special.
You have plenty of friends who love you.
You have a lot of suitors who adore you.

But your eyes are close
Blindness from seeing positive things was what you chose.

Your ears refuse to hear
Being deaf from God's word was what you adhere.

Your heart don't want to receive love.
Even if it was God's love from above.

Why would you not listen?
I was there when you needed a friend.

Why would you choose to die
when you are still young?
Didn't you hope for a happy ending?

Why choose to hang yourself on a rope?
Didn't you promise me you'll hang on that hope?

Your principle was not to bother anyone.
That's why you do things on your own and alone.

You said you don't want to be a burden.
But you made our hearts broken.

You died for your life is a wreck.
You tied that rope on your neck.

I am sorry for I couldn't stop you then.
It's been three years and I still miss you friend.
From your death I still need to cope
In God's promise I put my hope

I am sorry if I cannot follow to where you are,
Coz even if I have a scar,
I will never put my hope on a rope.