Summer Girl || A Shourtney Story

.04 into the fire, feeling higher than the truth

"Smosh Summer Games: Apocalypse!" we all yelled into the cameras. The sun was slowly sinking in the sky behind us as filming began for our second challenge of the season.

"Today, we are playing Smosh Family Feud," Sarah announced in an upbeat voice. We all cheered in response, squaring up to our podiums with anticipation. "It's gonna get nasty, it's gonna get a little shady, and we're gonna spill all the tea!"

Since the producers had announced this challenge in the Summer Games line up, I had been looking forward to it for weeks. Nothing brought our group together more than roasting each other, sibling-style. It was almost refreshing to bring our ridiculous banter outside the studio. The producers hadn't given us much detail, but they said that we would be voting on superlatives. I was all in.

Sarah explained the rules of the game as I briefly observed my team. Damien, Keith, Noah, Kimmy and Lasercorn were clad in bright pink tie-dye shirts matching my own ensemble. I was buzzing with anticipation. It was going to be a good test to see how well I knew my team. By some twist of fate, I was the person first up to the plate by random draw, and I approached the main podium cautiously.

Sarah read off her first card. "I'm gonna start with Mushroom Clout. My question is: who would die first in the apocalypse?"

It was a difficult choice, but Keith was the obvious one. He relied a little too much on fast food, ubers, and the conveniences of the 21st century to properly survive the apocalypse.

One by one, my teammates revealed their answers, my disappointment growing with every reveal. Keith was the only one to match my response. On the other hand, Damien said I was his choice. I feigned surprise, making a mental note to tease him later. What a dork, I chuckled affectionately.

The opposite team did a quick, incredibly strange "mind meld", and somehow managed to sweep the board with Joven as the meal of choice for the apocalypse.

"This has to be cheating," I muttered to Damien, who gave me pained smile in return. His competitive nature rivaled my own. It was definitely time to get serious.

Luckily, our next question was easy. It was a surprise to no one that Lasercorn was voted as having the worst style. He was still sporting his self-made crop top with nipple holes cut out, a top that I assumed I would continue to see throughout the week. I breathed a sigh of relief as our score rapidly increased. Five more points for us.

Sarah interrupted my victorious train of thought with a jarring prompt. "Who is the least funny?" she asked Toxicitea.

And that is precisely when I realized that things were taking a sharp turn. The first few superlatives were primers for seriously savage questions coming our way. Fingers crossed I wouldn't be caught in the crossfire.

"This is a little too spicy for my liking," Keith muttered to me. I chuckled quietly in agreement.

Somehow, Wes won the least funny and was a complete sweetheart about it. I smiled at my former roommate fondly. What a good dude.

We ran through the remaining questions quickly, and everyone was continuously shocked by the intensity of the asks. I shouldn't have been surprised given Matt's evilly comedic genius, but he really nailed us. From asking about who was the most "into" themselves, to the least academically intelligent, I was constantly beside myself as we progressed.

"Who on your team who on your team was the oldest when they lost their virginity?"

I practically choked on my own spit. Thank goodness the question was aimed at the other team. My own personal guess was Ian, but it was honestly fair play to anyone. Sarah ran down the line of responses rapidly, and it seemed like almost everyone had a different answer. I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious about Shayne's response. Being the guesser, he was the last one to reveal his answer.