yes, I think we've met before

Variant 11612, Day 8187

Felix woke a minute before his alarm went off, eyes flying open as he desperately tried to hold on to details of his dream.

It was like holding smoke, however, and as quickly as he could recall the images and words, they slipped right through his fingers.

All except for an inexplicable feeling of loss, heavy in his chest.

He let out a long breath, the tension refusing to ease up at the action, and resigned himself to a long day.

This had been happening more and more often of late, Felix found. It wasn't necessarily bad, just... strange. Like he was missing something, but couldn't remember what.

Sighing, Felix pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, granted a slight satisfaction when they came back dry. Sometimes, he woke up crying, unsure as to why.

Today he just felt empty.

_____

Variant 29570, Day 10502

"You're up late," Sylvain said, stepping out onto the balcony of their apartment to stand next to Felix, "Something up?"

The city, bathed in orange light from the streets, was quiet. Felix sighed, leaning into Sylvain and letting him wrap an arm around his waist.

"Nightmare." he said shortly, staring out at the empty road beneath them. Usually there were a few cars out, people driving home from work or a late night out, but right now there was nothing. The peace was soothing, which is why Felix found himself out here in the first place.

Sylvain hummed quietly, resting his chin of top of Felix's head. "Actual event or a what-if?"

Felix let his eyes slide shut. "What-if."

It had felt real, in the moment, so devastatingly real. But now, awake and watching the city sleep when he couldn't, he was able to sift through and figure out the things his mind had created.

He could still feel the electricity running through his veins, around his fingers. The fire Sylvain had released, heat a sign of danger rather than the usual comfort it gave.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sylvain asked softly, hand finding Felix's and lacing their fingers together.

Felix opened his mouth to say no, but paused, the words dying on his tongue. Instead, he nodded stiffly, eyes still closed.

Sylvain waited in silence, breath warm on Felix's hair.

"We..." he started slowly, "we were in a war. On opposite sides."

The battle had been loud, armour and weapons clashing, the yells and cries of people and their mounts. Felix shivered involuntary, and Sylvain squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.

"And?"

"I wouldn't - I--" Felix stopped, words catching in his throat.

Sylvain brought his other arm up to fully hug Felix, dropping a kiss into his hair, waiting for him to start again.

"You asked if I remembered the promise we made as kids."

Felix hadn't met his boyfriend until he started college, but in the nightmare that hadn't been the case. They had known each other their whole lives, parting ways when the war began to only be brought back together to cross swords.

The memory of that alone was enough to twist Felix's stomach. 

In the distance, a siren started wailing.