scorned Mother

my unloving mother

I'm someone in the world who is just common as of you. Not expanding this anymore here I go.....
My mother is school teacher n my father whom I don't think ever existed for me is still alive and he with no respect and concern for his family shamelessly lives in our home. My mother is completely partial towards me for my elder witch brother.she never considers me as her child.  If You guys might have mother who shows you concern and cares for you then I must say you are very lucky than Jeff Bezos. Because my mother just thinks that feeding her children and washing their clothes is her only duty or part of her life. She never showed me her concern for me or appreciated me in front of anybody. I have always wished for the concern of my mother to me,and staying by my side every time.Instead she always cursed me for being born to her and her coward husband. Everyday when I woke up I just think that today my mom will bless me or love me, but every morning seems to me like curse. She just values her elder son more than to me.Certainly i think that she is not the mother any child would want in their life, and my only complaint to god is that the most important character in anybody's life (a mother) should have been good human. I still don't understand her mindset.she comes from a rural background and never stayed with her mother more time but that doesn't make any sense to her life,I would want you to know all the pieces of shit that happened to me and may happen I guess. I am a teenager who just tries his best in whatever he choose(I'm not trying to personify myself here though) as a teenager every guy/girl needs their privacy and this hormonal rush makes them excited sometimes so this happens to me too one day I was chatting my online friend and we were having some chat but since I don't have sim card of my own I had to take my mother's sim card in my phone and so do I was chatting my friend I had to delete all the chat which I never wanted to but still because of my mother I had to.That day I did delete my chat but my friend messaged me in night and the chat was somewhat about private stuff and this happened to be seen by my mother and since that day she always taunts and scolds me for using phone, what else do I do ? Don't I deserve respect, affection,love ? I am an introvert so I don't have any friends... I don't go out and do other stuff and this is the reason I started making online friends because atleast they love me or show me thier concern which I miss deep in my heart.the reason I  mentioned titled it "my witch mother" is even deeper.every morning seems to be like a curse to me  she curses me whole day for what ? The reason is don't her work and for this I have a reason.she want's me to do the work which my elder brother does in his age.. and I think that this is incorrect  our ages are different and I beleive at what age he does this things I too should donit at the same time. I have received the great performances in my grades but still my mother doesn't praise me indeed she does praise my elder witch brother who fails in 7/8 subjects sounds very indifferent bit it's true.To all the reader women or men I just want you to know that a kid never asks from their heart to riches or materials but they need your support,love and affection. I sincerely believe that If children miss this thing in their growing years they would definitely gonna complain in future to you and even be rude to you this thing.since I have been through this I have decided onething in my life that I will never gonna make babies and give them the life which makes me feel disgusted in future just as my mother did to me.My story is very different from many others but I feel that this issue needed to be brought in spot. Sometimes I feel to give up my life but then I stop myself not for the reason I have my family but for the thing that I have to meet someone who will genuinely love me.love,care and concern are the only powerful weapons which would make someone shine bright in future.Giving children the normal livelihood is common but spending time with them and teaching them good things makes one's life better.I feel that i'm not her son even when I'm. And don't ever compare  about your child's performance in grades or in any activity because if you do that then you also needed to be compared to their parents.Their parents way of bringing them up must be different and better than yours so this thing also need to remembered. Feed your children with care and love and you will never never regret that in your life.try to understand them and not impose your thoughts on them.And from my story I believe that you must give a thought to this thing.